glowing_dragon: (Poop)
From Julie: B-Horror Movie Title Generator! Night of the Sorority from Outer Space! Yes, it was blurry and cut off when she got it. If you have a first or last name that starts with V-Z, you're out of luck!

Teenage, Biker, Atomic, Killer, Martian, Evil, Psycho, Attack of the, Lost, Curse of the, Radioactive, Night of the, 50-Foot, Invasion of the, Bloody, Revenge of the, The Last, Demon, Return of the, Deadly

Mutant(s), Occult, Amazon(s), Blood-Sucking / Blood Suckers, Clown(s), Nympho(s), Ghost(s), She-Devil(s), Sorority, Vampire(s), Virgin(s), Sex-Crazed (Fiends)

Slumber Party, Camp, Planet, From Hell, Cheerleaders, High School, Beach Party, Zombies, Cat People, Island, Massacre, Misfits, From Mars, From Outer Space, House, Werewolves, Aliens, School Girls, That Wouldn't Die, Prom Night, Robots




From Julie: There are just some sounds that everyone loves. Shoes on gravel. Crackling of a fire. The snapping of necks of those who think they can disrespect you. Cats purring.




From Hell: If Jesus masturbated, would he do it like this up and down normally? Or like this with the holes created by the nails on the cross?

glowing_dragon: (Bert and Ernie)
To my surprise, Ayler called me at 8:55 this morning because I wasn't on time with calling him at 8:45. I know he likes numbers and time, but I was going to call when a long Obsolete Oddity video was over. Beckett was crying in the background later because he wanted his blanket and his balloon, but Hiero had them instead. Harmony was also sanitizing the aforementioned balloon because it had gone outside on the balcony. I have no idea if the coronavirus can survive on concrete, but I guess it's low-effort enough!

I asked him if he talked to Steph - "no, because they do a call on videotape." Hahaha, that's true. He asked if I knew all the people in Beckett's baby book: of course I do! When I asked if he missed his school and church friends, he said he had a meeting with his school friends before online school tomorrow, and they did an online kiddy Easter church service. Hiero talked to me briefly about biking on the Fraser River, and I said hi to Beckett, who said a couple of his words into the phone. Ayler said they had 120 Easter eggs

I updated him on Fraser asking people whether they liked ice cream or cake better, told him that the Dairy Queen website is broken, and asked about their balcony activities. He asked me whether I worked from home (I could hear Jon and Harmony laughing in the background), and what my plans were for today. I'd had my coffee, so could go shopping after I ate breakfast. (they had granola and stuff) Ayler asked if there was anything else I wanted to talk about since he had run out of things to say. Then I said that the phone call had run its course - which is totally fine - so we could talk later. Yes, I called because I missed them, but also to wish them a Happy Easter 2020!


Hardin Long has a tombstone?!

glowing_dragon: (Consumer Whore)
After I showered, I went out at 1:25 on a 407 with my Asian old lady shopping cart to do some banking and go grocery shopping. The sidewalk is closed by Brighouse Station because of the loop construction, and Shoppers and Price Smart both have lineups to get inside in the name of social distancing and limiting the number of people! I got Krinos Athena salt x3 for $3 at London Drugs, where they've shut down all cash registers (I think) and two of the infernal self-checkout machines. Then I had to navigate the sidewalk closure and answer a couple of basic travel-related questions at Royal Bank before I was allowed inside to use the far ATM. Even if I knew anyone who had been outside of Canada lately, it's not like I'm seeing them!

Then I went to Price Smart, where there was also a lineup to get inside. Bought NEW No Joke / Solar Flare / Blueberry Plague / Momento de Muerte hot sauces x4 from Pepper North Artisan Foods, GOOD TASTE dumplings x5 (pork and celery / pork and chive / beef and vegetable / cabbage and chicken / cabbage and pork), on-sale Western Family regular soy sauce (carefully opening it in the store first), Maggi Kari Letup noodles, NEW Ottogi Jin Ramen Odong Tong Myon noodles in Spicy Seafood Udon flavor, Doll shrimp wonton ramen noodles, NEW Miss Vickie's Signatures Black Truffle and Parmesan chips, original Western Family chili, and Allen's Malt Vinegar x2. Plastic bags are temporarily free, while you can't bring your reusable bag inside because they're trying to stop the spread of coronavirus. After that, I left because my shopping cart was getting too heavy. I paid my Shaw bill online after getting home at 4 on a 407 and wiping things down, then went out to Price Smart again at 6:30 on a 401 whose bus driver AGAIN didn't see my cart because of the sunlight.

The lineup wasn't too bad and it moved faster at 6:40, which is fine by me. I bought NEW AG Blue Label concentrated household bleach (3.6 litres!), Puritan Irish Stew for St. Patrick's Day 2021, on-sale NEW Goldfish Grahams x2 (Chocolate Brownie / Vanilla Cupcake), on-sale NEW Western Family HOT salsa x2 (which the jar opener DID work on!), NEW Oikos Hint of Banana lactose-free yogurt, Western Family prune nectar / prune juice, on-sale Charmin triple toilet paper, and NEW zinc Jamieson Vitamins x2. Of course I took advantage of the hand sanitizer at a checkout when I left the store, nodding at the masked security guard at the exit. Finally got home at 7:45 thanks to a slightly late 407, and now Paulo wants to get some of that hot sauce!


From Julie: KINDERGARTEN COP 1990 - Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina. KINDERGARTEN COP 2018 - I've got no fucking clue.




Hot sauce galore, Smokey Mountain Spaghetti and Meatballs, AND MORE! )
glowing_dragon: (Happy Birthday!)
Eric M. says he has a spare 500-watt power supply if needed - PHEW! However, that doesn't explain the keyboard and mouse freezing!


From James: This purple dinosaur (Barney?) is mistaking this rhinoceros's kindness for weakness.




From Ryan B. and My middle finger has a boner: I'm going to cut out a bunch of newspaper articles about an unsolved murder, and keep them in a box in my closet to fuck with my kids' heads after I die.




Billie's 2011 birthday - good times with Aaron and others!




Billie's 2011 birthday - good times with Alana and others!




Billie's 2011 birthday - hanging out on the couch with Dorna!




Billie's 2011 birthday - couch hangouts with Dorna can be chill and fun, too!

glowing_dragon: (Poop)
It's MARIO DAY today! :D


From Julie and 22 Words: Lord, no! Hey, we all love a comfortable toilet seat, so the idea of using a toilet cover shouldn't be so shocking. But this... this is an affront to all that is good in the world.

If that's a fuzzy blue toilet seat cover, I actually used to have one! When people were over at my place for a Fellowship prayer meeting in 2002, Joe asked whether he could use the washroom... of course! Afterwards, he came out and said: "Speaking as a guy, it's really hard to use your toilet!" Everyone else present wanted to know why, so he told us that it was the fuzzy blue toilet seat cover... holding it up while peeing created the potential for danger. Maxine's pantomime of a guy using my toilet was hilarious! :D




From Amanda: Coronavirus symptoms do NOT include shitting yourself, so there's no need to panic-buy toilet paper!

glowing_dragon: (Bert and Ernie)
After COFFEE TIME / SHOWER TIME / CLEANING FRIDGE TIME (yucky sticky prune juice!), I went out at 1:30 on a 401 to finally redeem that Pure Nail Bar gift card from Christmas 2019 for a pedicure before going to help with the kids. I thought I'd be on time, but NO... the 3 bus had to be late, a stroller had no idea what to do on the bus, and then there were traffic delays, causing me to be 10 minutes late! At least they didn't have to call me or anything, and it was just after East 13th! It was pretty relaxing, and I got to choose a nail polish color - Shooting Star silver glitter! They had a fancy nail dryer and a fancy pink toe separator!

After I was done at 3:45, I texted Jon and asked whether he was at the park, then went to Save-On to kill time. I should have gone to the park instead since it took him 20 minutes to get back to me saying they were home now. Fine, sure, I'll walk there - not a big deal, of course. Beckett wanted "Didibug!" which Jon asked about - it made sense, but what was it? Hiero drew me a Bat Signal and a lightning bolt, saying I could keep them in my pocket. I pointed out that it would probably fall out of my pocket, so I'll keep them in my wallet's zippered pouch instead! When I got home, I put the Bat Signal / lightning bolt / Cao Starvingbase Noodle HOO! guy in a Ziploc bag for extra protection.

Ayler was blocking Beckett's access to the piano because Beckett would try to play it, and wanted to know if the real Dean could stay later to play "quiet soccer" while Jon taught his sister Lily. I told Dean that he must be special to Beckett - every time someone comes over, Beckett thinks it's Dean! HAHAHA! "Dean! Dean! Dean!" When Harmony got home, she mentioned she was late because the pipeline protesters had been blocking UBC today - UGH! Then she saw silverfish in the bathroom, in her clothes! YUCK! I told her about the time that I had seen one CRAWLING ON MY COMPUTER DESK in summer 2017 - EW! Beckett wanted to say hi to Kayla, and of course was interested in her guitar and the rest of the students.

Jon gave me a tea rag to wipe Beckett's nose with. He's learned "NO!" and uses it frequently! I watched him knock over Jon's violin while he was teaching Willie, and Jon said "NO, BECKETT." A kid named Ethan came for a piano lesson, and his mom stayed in the room. Beckett was very interested in her phone! Ethan asked what I was doing there, so I said that was a good question - what did HE think? Jon answered when he didn't have a response. I read the rest of the DOG MAN book to Hiero, who then wanted to draw Dog Man while Dean and Ayler transitioned to quieter origami.

We had pozole with hominy / chips / Greek yogurt / choy for dinner, plus an almond croissant. Beckett wanted to climb up on the couch and needed my help to sit / stand on the white chair. He picked up the word "funny" and the corresponding grin expression. "FUNNY! OPEN! Block! Magnet! Frog!" Of course he got upset when Ayler stole his stuff... I told Hiero that he had just touched the nose-wiping cloth with Beckett's germs ALL OVER it, so Hiero went by himself to wash his hands quickly! Beckett also showed me where my own eyes / nose / mouth / ears were, with the correct words. He wanted to show me his orange half-shell, so he said "shell" - pretty good!

I left at 7:45, amazingly in enough time to catch the 7:55 3 bus that went to the station. However, I wouldn't get home in time for the second period, because there was an electric scooter that took a minute or so to adjust herself in the bus. She didn't deserve a guilt trip or anything, so I was outwardly patient. Then on the Canada Line at Aberdeen, there was an obstreperous guy who wouldn't get off the train until threatened with the cops by the female attendants! Everyone was craning their necks to look - some old man asked if I was going to save him. Fuck, no! I'll watch from safety! I FINALLY got home at 9:10 during the second intermission. The Canucks played the Coyotes tonight at 7:30, and lost 4-2 thanks to an empty-net goal from behind the Arizona net ALL the way to the other end of the ice.


Fancy nail dryer at Pure Nail Bar.




Fancy pink toe separators at Pure Nail Bar. Nail polish color from their array is Shooting Star Silver.




Pretty Shooting Star Silver toenails!




Better view of the Shooting Star Silver toenails!




I got this weird time glitch on Shiwa's Discord server last night. March 3 is "today" while March 4 is both "tomorrow" and 'today." Okay, Discord...




From Jon and Harmony for Christmas 2019: Pure Nail Bar pink envelope and pink gift card for a pedicure, which I finally used this afternoon!




Biggerstaff tombstone?!




This is from Red's Discord server. Coronavirus as a metal band T-shirt: CORONAVIRUS 2020 World Tour! China and Asia, Europe, Australia, North America, Middle East, South America. SCYTHES! HAHAHAHA!




From Julie: I'm giving up these little glasses of alcohol for Lent. I will be drinking big glasses of alcohol instead.

glowing_dragon: (Vancouver Canucks hockey!)
There was snow this morning at 11 AM! Of all the people, Auntie Vonnie texted me (at least identifying herself, unlike either of my parents) saying that the building insurance had expired as of January 4, so I had to call Hester to find out if I still needed it (yes), and then tell her about the light bulb issue. "If the light bulb is broken, that's your job. [NOT what I was calling about...] Turn the TV off. [NOT the TV! THE PRE-GAME SHOW!] Write a note. If I can't understand you, you can't understand me. [WTF?!]" Called the insurance office to see how much it was: $375!

I also got banned from R/Relationship_Advice for literally telling a guy that he was scum since his comment was "My girlfriend got raped and I'm having a hard time with it because I would have been her first if her ex hadn't done that." Fuck that! YOU ARE A SCUMBAG AND A SCUMBUCKET! Then someone on Youtube tried telling me how an insistence on proper spelling and grammar could be ableist and classist - HA HA HA! I don't excuse it EVER unless you are a kid just learning how things work. The Canucks played Boston today at 4, and lost 4-0. I showered today.


From Julie and Anorak UK: KidsExchange?! Master Bait and Tackle?!




I about had a heart attack when some lady pointed towards my waist and said, "Looks like your caulk is falling out."




From Mikey in the V4F Discord server: When there are too many new genders and you want to be clear: DICK OWNER!

glowing_dragon: (Vancouver Canucks hockey!)
COFFEE TIME! To my surprise, Andre (from Stryn, Norway) had reactivated his Facebook account for now to "stay in touch" with the Fearsome Canucks group, so I took advantage of it to untag / delete pics of him that I'd tagged. The Canucks played the Islanders today at 10 AM thanks to "lovely" East Coast scheduling, and won 4-3 in overtime despite the Islanders scoring with 35 seconds remaining in regulation! Quinn Hughes got two goals including the game-winner AND is currently now #1 in rookie scoring for this season!

Afterwards, I went out at 2:25 on a 401 to shop at London Drugs. I bought dark grey Designer Workshop washcloths x12, on-sale 12-pack Excel Gum x4 for my wallet (99 cents each for Chlorophyll / Strong Mint / Peppermint / Winterfresh), NEW on-sale dark chocolate Wild Coast Fruit blueberries and cranberries x2 for National Dark Chocolate Day today, Mackie's Potato Crisps haggis and black pepper / NEW crispy bacon chips x2, and on-sale Nescafe coffee in a tall canister, getting back at 3:35 on a 407.


From James: When someone says, "White people don't season their food," and then you hit them with 11 herbs and spices at KFC.




From Julie: We all have memories on stairs. Others have memories of a romantic kiss in the stairwell. I just have memories of falling down the stairs ungracefully!




From Julie and Anorak UK: Bunghole Liquors?! Hooker Cockram?!




Andre!




Chips, gum, and new dark chocolate! )
glowing_dragon: (Vancouver Canucks hockey!)
COFFEE TIME because of "lovely" East Coast scheduling! The Canucks played the Sabres today at 10 AM, and actually won 6-3 with a Loui Eriksson empty-netter AND two goals by Boeser! Carter Hutton hasn't had a win since October 22, 2019?!


From Julie M. and JUDGE JUDY: Nacole Koch?! BAD SPELLING OF NICOLE which reminds me of nachos and Cole Porter!




From AskReddit: Jesus Hitler de los Santos Peralta?!

glowing_dragon: (Cherry Cheesecake or Pie)
After COFFEE TIME, Barry picked me up at 9:40 AM for my 10:15 AM eye clinic appointment. As usual, I waited a while to be seen, and got out at 11:25. They had a black chick doing the eye exams, who admitted she was new AND didn't read my file, AND "had" to dilate my pupils, AND didn't bother sanitizing the surfaces while I was in there! Her excuse was that she did it after each patient. Fuck that shit! YUCK! Why would you not do that in patient view, like Elizabeth does?!

Of course I brought it up to Dr. Wise as soon as I could see her, forgetting to ask about any reading glasses prescriptions. Damn people making me sound like a Karen! My next appointment is in a year since she says my eyes still look very healthy and normal. I got Barry to drop me off at Richmond Centre later since I had to get thank-you cards for Steph (a dog which totally looks like Havarti!) / Ruth / Joan, a froggy Valentine's Day card for Fraser and Henry, on-sale Fritos Hoops for Sunday's dinner, and what I THOUGHT were scratch-and-sniff pizza stickers at Shoppers. They turned out to be kiddy Valentine's Day cards! Fuck that dilation shit, indeed! Got home at 1:05 on a 407 to do some greeting card prep, and found out that the I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER margarine has an expiry date of January 18. I COULD HAVE GOTTEN IT EARLIER! At least I have some time for that, but STILL!


Fritos Hoops!




Gildan bamboo dress socks - long and thick!




From DaveTheUsher's Discord server: English is weird. Horror, horrible, horrific. Terror, terrible, terrific!

glowing_dragon: (Devilish Smile)
It's Friday the 13th today!

Mom and Dad wanted to come by today to pick up the "remnants" of the broken Heys suitcase - good thing I found the broken handle INSIDE said luggage before they came by this morning at 10:50 AM, since I thought I'd lost it when it wasn't anywhere on the floor nearby! Dad thought I needed to wash my hair since I wore the old Alaska sweatshirt with dandruff on it - uh, I was chilling at home and didn't need to shower till LATER! Apparently, Mom had to use the bathroom even after going at Dr. Ruby's (and apparently didn't wash her hands at my place - GROSS!) - REALLY?! She also gave me a couple of medium candy canes for the boys in a produce bag (plus chocolate almonds for me in another produce bag), but I was happy to keep them for myself since Harmony didn't want the boys to have too much sugar. Yeah, good luck with that one...

After DOUBLE COFFEE TIME and SHOWER TIME, I went out at 3 on an 401 to help with the kids. Harmony gave me some Children's Hospital Christmas cards with white envelopes, so YAY FOR THAT! I also got a card and stickers from Julie in today's mail, plus a surprising card and stickers from Janina, who deactivated her Facebook profile AGAIN a while ago. That was nice of her, though! Rishu wanted to call me anyway since I "couldn't" make it in to the boonies of Richmond, but was so late about it that I should have just taken a shower at 1 instead of 11:45! Hurry up and wait - UGH!

Got to kill a bit of time at Marine Drive Station, but just spent it online near the statue where I could get a wifi signal from Dublin Crossing pub, and got to Harmony's at about 4:30. She'd warned me about being quiet since Beckett was actually napping, and I said I'd be there soonish. The bus HAD to stop for two minutes at 41st, and then ran into rainy-day traffic crap at 20th or so... I'd rather be safe than in an accident, though! When I got in, the boys were reading a Mercy the Pig book, which I had to finish because Harmony had to tend to Beckett and the lasagna at the same time.

I read a few pages of CHINOOK CHRISTMAS - way too advanced for Ayler! - before I decided just to play with Beckett, who had just come out and was loopy. He gave me a bunch of toy balls and emotion eggs, wouldn't respond "yeah" to my questions for a bit, and just stared at me for a while. Later, he did warm up (I got a hug!) and "read" the 100 Words book, saying something that vaguely sounded like "what's that?" and pointing at a picture. Of course he knew where the balls were, but also called a kid's head a "boh-boh," which Hiero found hilarious! "HAHAHA, he called it a BALL!"

We had the aforementioned lasagna with kale and ricotta, cherry tomatoes, and grapes for dinner. Beckett was only slightly interested in this dinner, but at least did not upend his tray on the table this time. He cried and was upset, only smiling when he saw the Vitamin D bottle. No, of course we wouldn't let him overdose on them. "NA NA NA!" he said about the Rice Krispies - he also seemed to like the Advent Calendar chocolate halves that he was allowed. Beckett said ATTIE to me, so YAY! He liked giving me emotion eggs, rolling some balls, playing with the shells, trying to fit the stacking blocks together ("Na na na!" he'd say when he wanted me to take it out), and finding the balloons on the stacking blocks AND the "Christmas tree ornaments" in the boys' room. Then he was also more receptive to saying "yeah" to my questions and even grabbing some rolled balls himself. At least the baby pop-up toy still made him laugh, so YAY!

When Harmony was out of the room (having told me about location settings on my phone photos for everyone's privacy reasons - which I figured out later at the bus stop), I asked Ayler what he really thought of screen time at school. He smiled and said he liked it because "it's the opposite of what my mom wants." HAHAHA, nice! Hiero said that he knows what the "other" meaning of PEE-PEE is, and was busy giving "presents" to his mom of random toys in egg cartons and boxes. Beckett repeated some words like "wow" and "after" when he heard us say them, with "MOMMY! BECKETT SAID WOW!" as a reaction from Hiero.

Myles dropped by at 8 (when the kids were still up), only to have Ayler accuse him: "Cou-fu is stealing our lasagna!" HAHAHAHA! No, Jon just made a couple of mega-batches! Myles also managed to fix the printer, which Beckett had somehow managed to knock offline. We talked briefly and side-hugged; while Harmony was preoccupied, Ayler said he had a question for me, but I had to come over and look at the computer keyboard. Sure, why not? He just wanted to know about the very top row of Function keys - at least he knows to ask me, because his parents probably won't answer! Beckett said "Cou-fu" and "Attie" for Myles' video, which was cute. Later on at 8:30, Harmony finally let me go - I was surprised when I was home at 9:30! I did say bye to Beckett, giving him a high-five and showing him that big gold "boh-boh" at Richmond Centre. They don't need me on Tuesday because of the kids' Christmas concert, so that's just more time to do some stuff before my trip!


From Julie: When you find some weave on the road, so you make a Snowquesha! HAHAHAHAHA!




From Julie M. and her local news: Noema Alavez Perez is the mother of the missing Dulce Maria Alavez?! Her name is pronounced No-Emma, she's 19, and has a five-year-old and a three-year-old and was going to have another kid soon as of September 2019?! SHE WAS 14 AS A FIRST-TIME MOM?!




Children's Hospital Christmas cards: Let It Snow snowman and a Holiday Greetings reindeer!




More Christmas cards and stickers! )
glowing_dragon: (Default)
DIRTY JOKES!

How is pubic hair like parsley? You push it to the side before you start eating.

Dirty jokes from Red's Twitch stream! )


After DOUBLE COFFEE TIME, I went out at 6:55 on a 401 to meet Chrystal at the Broadway London Drugs. Good thing I left early since the next Waterfront train was out of service at what HAD BEEN a surprisingly empty Brighouse Station! There was some guy clapping like a seal on the bus and at the station - thank goodness he wasn't in my train car! I got to London Drugs at 7:30, and was happy that there was no lineup at the post office so I could mail Corey and Julie's cards. However, I got a postal worker who was grumpy as fuck: I have NEVER been told that I shouldn't write anything in the corner of the envelope, otherwise the stamp would obscure the destination address! Fuck you, random guy!

Chrystal and I went to Pho Extreme Xe Lua: #17 and #1 it was! SPECIAL! We talked about her nephews Ethan (4) and Ethan (1 and a bit), Ayler, Hiero, Beckett discovering new words and the door, Beckett being "smart" by banging his head on the hardwood floor to delay Harmony's leaving for a school meeting, Beckett being really smart by putting all his molecule balls on the far windowsill so he can play with those and look at the reflected lights across the street at the same time (I left him to do that for a minute - he's fine and preoccupied), my broken suitcase, my replacement suitcase, my upcoming trip, and her just doing family things at home this holiday season. Angus and Melia and Phil and Grace have their own families now, and it would be pretty huge to have a family gathering! I got home at 9:05 on a 407, which is pretty good for leaving at 8:30. (Chrystal bused home again!)


Pho Xe Lua # 17 with Chrystal as a pre-Xmas 2019 dinner: Steak, flank, tendon, tripe, and fatty flank!




Right after Halloween, I was ChristmasFlamHam in Shiwa's Discord server!




From Tommy Chong: What's Your Stoner Elf Name? Mine is Smokey Jingletokes! Mike would be Buddy Evergreens! My ex-friend Jimmy would be Danky Sparklepipe!




Borked Heys suitcase which came with a busted zipper and an almost-impossible push handle...




Successfully packed replacement carry-on American Tourister suitcase with enough room for ALL my stuff, a working zipper, and a much simpler non-push handle! Way easier to maneuver on transit, too! My parents should have just lent me this one in the first place, then I wouldn't have had to store the first one in a weird way so I wouldn't have had to push the handle down every time I wanted to access it. *rolleyes*

glowing_dragon: (Poop)
From Julie: Peree Hampton is a guy?! Yum, puree in the Hamptons!




From Youtube: Raechel Betts?! BAD SPELLING OF RACHEL!




From John's True Crime Vids Group: Peninah Wangari?! That's an extremely outdated Biblical name, if anything...

glowing_dragon: (No Netspeak!)
Went to London Drugs at 3:15 on a 407 to get some cheaper Advent calendars x7, which I finally found in the form of on-sale $2 Windel Advent calendars. I'm not paying $9 for one, LINDT! I also got American Greetings Christmas stickers x5 (ornaments / cats / dogs / snowflakes / reindeer / winter), ten Scrub Daddy sponges, and 400 Mead index cards, getting home at 4:20 on a late 407. I also had to measure my duffle bags


Word Counter Tool since CharacterCountOnline.com is offline now for whatever reason. At least the annoying SEO Keyword Tool stuff is BELOW what I need! There was another Word Count Tool, but I don't care about the readability level of my blurbs right above the text box.


Christmas stickers and duffel Tracker bags from Bentley! )


From r/relationship_advice on September 18, 2019: No, aliibe, 36 and 24 is not "literally almost a decade." It is in fact 12 years... MORE than a decade! Reminds me of these ditzy girls that my sister saw at the park once. "75 minutes?! That's, like, almost an hour!"

Also, throwawaypeen12345 is NOT making himself look good with the clickbait (he has no penis) OR trying to downplay the MAJOR age gap when he LEADS OFF with that…




From Reddit and r/vancouver: Maranda Johnson?! BAD SPELLING OF MIRANDA! Or is it like the FINAL FANTASY VI town?

glowing_dragon: (No Netspeak!)
Gap, Pennsylvania?!




From Janina: I'm burying a dollar store skeleton in a shallow grave under my new deck. Should be funny in 30 years when the next guy is rebuilding it.




From This is True: Whaiti Albert?!

glowing_dragon: (No Netspeak!)
From Julie M. and DR. PHIL: Bameron?!




From Julie M. and DR. PHIL: Telly Zelly?! The obscene phrase was "suck my dick" - why get that tattooed AT ALL, let alone on your forehead?!




From Julie M. and DR. PHIL: Larz?!! Edit on March 26, 2020: He now has coronavirus from licking a toilet seat?! HAHAHAHA!




From Vanessa and Julie: How people use the restroom at work, or in any public place... poop on the walls and pee all over the floor! EW!




From Julie: Wash Your Nuts! Novelty Soap on a Rope!




From Julie: Wash Your Nuts! Novelty Soap on a Rope! Close-up view!

glowing_dragon: (Vancouver Canucks hockey!)
COFFEE TIME! Do not join the r/Canucks Discord server! The mods and admins are all immature teenagers who think that I, a grown woman, am "disrespecting them" by posting a VERY sanitized rant about people who "need" Reddit reminders about the two 10 AM games this weekend. Just set an alarm, dude... no need to post something that reveals your terrible sleep habits. Even I manage not to sleep in past 10 these days unless I'm sick. I don't need a bot warning me about morbidity and "disrespect" because most of the things they post (including shitposts and memes) make me roll my eyes! The Canucks played New Jersey today at 10 AM, and lost 1-0. Thanks, Mackenzie Blackwood AND really early scheduling...


Hell, Michigan?!




Names banned in Sonora, Mexico, which borders Arizona: Burger King, Rambo, Facebook, Twitter, Robocop, James Bond, Harry Potter, Christmas Day, Rolling Stone, Virgin, Cesarean, Circumcision, Yahoo, Pocahontas, Spinach, Rocky, Mistress, US Navy, Terminator, Hitler, Lady Di, Email, Scrotum, Hermione, Batman, Private, Sponsorship, Traffic, Martian, Panties, and Illuminated?!

glowing_dragon: (Vancouver Canucks hockey!)
After COFFEE TIME and calling the Lost Property Office too early for them to receive lost Translink items at 1 (UGH!), I went out at 11:10 on a 401 to go to the Gloucester Café to meet Auntie Catherine for my last belated birthday meal, taking the 15 Olympic Village bus down at Bay 2 across the street rather than walk the seven blocks in the iffy weather. So I was ten minutes late - it still was reasonably on time for me! I scanned the restaurant and finally saw her sitting at a table - she hugged me hello, and we eventually ordered two dishes to share with our individual hot milk tea. Seafood spaghetti in a creamy dill sauce AND chicken pineapple satay fried rice with plenty of shrimp and egg! No, I didn't want to take the leftovers with me!

She talked about church and noticed that I didn't need my glasses, so she was surprised - she didn't know about my eye surgeries! We talked about Mattias and Marcus - they're 11 and 9 now?! Chung Yan still watches Canucks hockey, so YAY for that! Auntie Catherine gave me a surprise 100% red silk scarf (probably an Indian scarf), so that was totally good! It was pretty rainy when we left at 1:20 (Harmony texted to say I could come at 3:30 or so), but I assured her that I'd be fine without an umbrella, and definitely didn't want to go to the North Shore or some other Vancouver Public Library! I just killed time at Oakridge with the free wifi, found out that I'd been BANNED from TwoX Chromosomes because of the too-inclusive special snowflakes ("not all women have vaginas" is very weird), and left at 3 on a 41st Avenue bus (then a 3) to get to the house at 3:35.

Beckett was surprisingly awake and definitely wanted to play with me, the baby pop-up toy (he's now strong enough to make it pop up himself once or twice), and the various balloons scattered around the room. He also threw the plastic blocks at me, but I didn't hold it against him. Hiero laughed when he saw that, so I said with a very serious face that it was NOT FUNNY, and let Harmony take care of the rest. Ayler had to read the Monkeys book with me, and Hiero wanted me to read a book that was at least different than the ones I'd read on Sunday. Beckett wanted to see what we were doing / be close to me, but his brothers didn't like that. I had to give him a few hugs because he was upset! I let Ayler use my cell phone calculator after he said that I was still better at math than he is (debatable) and Beckett said, "Na na na NAAAAAAAAA!", which is what he says when he REALLY wants something! (like the Rice Krispies, a couple of which I put in his mouth at snacktime, which he didn't seem to mind)

Speaking of being serious, Beckett had an extremely serious expression on his face when he was signing "MORE" at dinner. He did get more food, but started throwing it around, even decorating my red bling sweater with macaroni and cheese. (we also had squash, turkey, stuffing, and other Thanksgiving leftovers) Ayler asked me why drinking prune juice meant that you had to be on the toilet all afternoon (because I told him that), so I told him that there was a lot of fiber in prunes. He seemed to accept that. After Beckett cried and was let go from the table to crawl around, he knocked over Ayler's silver water cup, causing Ayler to get all wet and then cry and melt down himself.

Beckett threw the balloons around and said what sounded like "cup" - at least, he had the hard C sound down! Ayler wanted to regale me with piano technique, so I let him tell me about it while listening very seriously. I enjoy it when he tells me about his interests! Hiero wanted me to read to him, but I said that I had to watch Beckett to make sure he didn't kill himself. We also discussed global warming in a kid-appropriate way. I left at 7:20 and finally got home at 8:40. The Canucks played Detroit tonight at 7, and won 5-1.


Pepto-Bismol is NOT Annabelle eyeshadow, London Drugs website...




Paper bus transfer in 2019! I sure wish the buses would give out actual Compass Card transfers, though!




Lamp chop for lunch, anyone? Yay for Engrish!




Seafood and spaghetti in a creamy dill sauce as part of a belated birthday 2019 lunch!




Chicken and pineapple satay fried rice with plenty of egg and shrimp!




A red 100% Silk Scarf from Auntie Catherine for my belated birthday in 2019!

glowing_dragon: (DarkEyedWolf... sex!)
Hayley posted a "wings meetup" in the Sober Server... WITH NO TIME, DATE, OR PLACE! Does she have an aversion to it, or is it because she's a millennial?! Nate thinks I seem bitter, but that's not the case. Even Term affirmed that one! I'm not going to go to a hangout without a time, date, or location! I need to plan my fucking day, not spend at least 90 minutes on transit and then another 90 minutes eating and visiting! (DEFINITELY not if it's in Burnaby!) Even my email about 12 Kings included a location, date, and an event that the date could be tied to, so people can look up the basketball ceremony / game as needed! Why are people so stupid?! I've also heard there might be another transit strike, like in 2001 - NO!


From STREET FOOD on Netflix: Daniel Milder?! Maybe it's pronounced "MILL-der," but I'll always read it as "mild-er."




From STREET FOOD on Netflix: Andrew Fried?! Yum, fried food!




From Quotes, Fun, and Sarcasm: Bailee Smith?! BAD SPELLING of Bailey!




Seen on Facebook: Krista Hiscock?!




From John's True Crime Group: Jaiden Shields?! BAD SPELLING of Jaden! Shelley is a mutual friend of ours...

glowing_dragon: (Consumer Whore)
Beckett crawled over to me to say hi - CUTE! After COFFEE TIME, I left at 3:15 on a 401 to help with the kids. I got to Marine Drive Station very early, thanks to no stupid delays! Went to T&T to look for hot and sour soup mix (why don't they have any?!), but did get NEW Clear Lime Coca-Cola and NEW Coffee Plus Coca-Cola. Then I went to Shoppers for a box of Peaches and Cream oatmeal for National Oatmeal Day later. Got to Harmony's at 4:45 or so after receiving a call and a text saying they were home now even if I'd tried buzzing in earlier - I was literally walking to her place! When I got in, I heard an awake Beckett, so I mentioned that in a normal volume. Beckett then crawled to me to say hi since he recognized my voice, which is cute!

I played with him for 15 minutes before dinner; he climbed on me (so I took the opportunity for a hug), laughed at the baby pop-up toy, and then was bothering Ayler and Hiero when it was reading time for PLANETS and SUPERMAN. Beckett doesn't know any better - he's a baby, and he's curious about what we're doing! Someone had a tantrum, and Hiero hit me with his fist. What?! Ayler and Hiero also insisted that origami was a bathroom activity - okay, then!

When Beckett was upset later because I took a toy away from an "unsafe" area (not the mat), I took the opportunity for another hug. We had slightly spicy meatball chili, cornbread with butter and honey, beans, and some other stuff for dinner. I said maybe I'd bring crackers next time so Beckett could eat something, and Hiero actually remembered that he'd double-fisted Swiss Cheese crackers recently! Ha, that had been pretty funny! I did get Beckett to "read" word books later, and he was having such a good time with that and his favorite colored ball that he was upset when Harmony took him away from me to sleep.

I left at 7:10 or so since Beckett had had a three-hour nap earlier and Harmony just put him down early for the night shift. Amazingly, there were no delays on the return trip to Marine Drive Station, but I still wanted to get home before 10 PM if possible. I used the 20-minute time between 407 buses to use the wifi at Richmond Centre and text Chinese Eric about tomorrow... then I got home at 8:35! Pretty early! I also tried emailing Jeremy from my phone to wish him a happy birthday on the day, but no go; I did that when I got home instead! Then I found out that all my Facebook accounts can't tag people in photos - WHAT THE FUCK?! Tried clearing my cookies and browsing data, but that didn't work! I was way overdue for that if it had 80,000 items, anyhow. NO MORE JIMMY! Now I gotta sleep because my body is screaming EYESTRAIN at me in a way I haven't had since a week and a half after my eye surgery!


My skeleton and candy corn Ugly Halloween Sweater: GET FREAKY!




More Halloween and amusements! )
glowing_dragon: (Happy Birthday!)
GIF Resizer


9/17/19 is also a palindrome date AND MY BIRTHDAY! After COFFEE TIME, I went out at 3:30 on a 401 to help with the kids. I JUST missed the Brighouse train because of someone shoving their way onto the elevator when the door was closing, and ALMOST missed the 3 bus at Marine Drive because someone wanted to let others on the already full elevator! JESUS CHRIST! People already on the elevator have connections to make and places to go - they can wait for the next one! And no, I did not leave really late!

When I finally got to the house at about the usual time, Beckett was fussing and trying to sleep. Ayler and Hiero were doing some origami; no, they couldn't test me on my birthday since that isn't very nice! I got to see Ayler construct a tiny gift box, while Hiero put very small things in his. Ayler wanted me to look at the origami book, so I did - lots of stuff in there for sure! Later, he wanted to see if he was taller than me yet - nope, but he was also cheating (which I told him) because he was standing on the mat and I was standing on the floor. I did tell him - as usual - the demarcation between my neck and my chin. Wow, he's 4 foot 6 already?!

We had dinner earlier than Beckett, and Hiero told me something interesting about making friends in kindergarten. It's good to know the proper names of your body parts, I told him. Harmony asked what I did for my actual birthday: Uh, you're currently looking at it! Turns out Jon believed Mom when she said it was the 16th, so I told her that maybe she shouldn't automatically believe Mom, and take what SHE says with a very liberal grain of salt. Homemade tomato soup, artisan bread, sticky rice (JONG), chicken feet, spicy sausage, soft carrots, and shortbread camel cookies - I declined the relaxing tea, though!

Beckett finally got a little bit of sleep - which I agree that he needed - and then crawled to my chair and pulled himself up to say hi and eat my dragon hoodie strings. CUTE! He wanted me to play with him, so I did - without washing my hands, which I'm sure Harmony wasn't impressed with. Oh well. Sometimes you gotta let the kid lead! He laughed at the baby pop-up toy, clapped and laughed, climbed on my back to try pulling my hair (Ayler says he claws people and pulls their hair now), and seemed way more energetic than Harmony thought he should be. Maybe he just wanted to play with me since he recognizes and likes me now!

Later, he crawled into the bathroom while Ayler was in there, but I was interested to see what he gets up to inside. Turns out that he's smart and knows that his blue basin is inside the shower stall, so wants to put it on his head. I took him out of there to play with better toys on the mat, and he climbed on me when I put the soccer ball on my head. Harmony let me go early at 7:10, which was a change. There was a transit officer on the 3 Marine Drive bus already, which again did not stop anywhere randomly for a few minutes. I still was a couple minutes late for a Brighouse train, but eventually got home at 8:45. Not a bad end to my birthday at all, involving no rushing like LAST YEAR!


From Nita: A pencil is on the phone. "I'll call you back later, okay? I'm having dinner with my editor." The RUBBER ERASER is the editor, hahaha!

glowing_dragon: (Crazy-Eyed Bear)
After DOUBLE COFFEE TIME, I went out at 4:20 on a 407 to have dinner with Jon and the family at Don't Argue pizzeria, AKA Louie's parents' place, which is closing down on Friday. (that's NOT easily Googleable, Jon!) I was so early to Marine Drive that I killed time at the usual place by buying a big bag of Lays lime chips and NEW Samyang Buldak Toppoki spicy noodles. DON'T ARGUE was pretty crowded with a line out the door, but at least Jon and the two oldest were there already. Jon wanted me to kick in $20 for beer since he ran out of cash just buying the pizza and salad. We discussed mushrooms, salami, arugula, STAR WARS books, Connect-The-Dots, plans for Thursday (and repeating everything to Mom, then having her repeat it back...), a picture with 1400 dots to connect in their book, Beckett NOT eating pizza, the older kids being more independent (I knew that already, Mom), and how I inadvertently bought our parents some beer. Fine, whatever.

After that, I personally saw no point in walking back to Jon's place since there was nothing to do there for me, so I took the 3 to Broadway instead. There was a drunk guy that got on at 14th, delayed the bus driver by having to put his shirt on, magically had his fare, and then asked the entire front portion of the bus if we had any cigarettes. Ugh! I also wasted time at the Broadway London Drugs because they didn't have any dark MARTEX bath towels... DOUBLE UGH! After going to the London Drugs nearest my place for a red MARTEX bath towel, I was finally home at 8:10, but then had to do a load of laundry even if the elevators are out of service AGAIN!


NEW Samyang Buldak Toppoki spicy noodles!




Chris H. has a GUY friend named VENIS Goodman?! BAD SPELLING OF VENUS, which should be a GIRL NAME anyway! Also, it reminds me of PENIS.

glowing_dragon: (DarkEyedWolf... sex!)
I have no patience for garbled gibberish group names on Facebook or anywhere else. What kind of name is "mkhgpqwopo ooezpq can luionnnnn"?! The old name of Quotes and Sarcasm was just fine! I know that 2/3 of the people there have really foreign or just plain weirdass personal names, but that doesn't mean it has to transfer to the group name as well, MISSY ANN! You have a normal name - COME ON! I've left the group, and I'm not even sure why I was there in the first place. I showered today after finally blocking Victor R. for asking about dick pics. Gross! Deleting Telegram from my phone proved to be easy, thanks to Google.


From Julie: An awesome colorful dragon!




From Julie M. and Etsy: A medieval bronze dragon skull necklace inspired by GAME OF THRONES!

glowing_dragon: (Happy Birthday!)
I went to London Drugs at 1:30 on a 401 (where a guy was WEARING A TOQUE?!) to get on-sale NEW Heidi Chocolate Intense / Ginger / Himalayan Salt chocolate bars for Chinese Eric's birthday, two GIBSON owl mugs, two on-sale GUM toothbrushes, one big 300 mL Nin Jiom Pei Pa Koa medicine bottle which I was able to open successfully at home (cheaper than two little 150 mL ones), NEW on-sale Webber Naturals Omega-3 fish oil softgel tablets for 40% off (inspired by Monday evening's discussion with the nephews), a red MARTEX washcloth, on-sale SpongeTowels paper towels, GOODY toothbrush covers x3, on-sale Sunkist chewable Vitamin C, and NEW Nivea Vanilla Buttercream lip balm x2. Took the stairs and noticed that the downstairs elevator works again at London Drugs, too! Just managed to get the 407 home at 2:10, so YAY for bus efficiency! Steph says Henry's birthday card and stickers arrived on time yesterday - PHEW!


Henry living his best life in a box with food and the stickers I sent him for his second birthday!




Webber Naturals Omega-3 fish oil tablets! 40% off sale!




Nivea Vanilla Buttercream lip balm!




Chocolate and funny names! )
glowing_dragon: (French Toast)
After COFFEE TIME, I went out at 2:40 on a 407 to help with the kids, telling Jon to text me if something happened. Got there at 3:45 and discussed poop hygiene, Beckett waking up just then, paper planes, bullet trains, origami (I was just folding along with them and not caring if I was any good), babbling, outer space, fast trains, Myles and the ER, Mom not noticing certain things like the cooking soup overflowing right in front of her and making a great puddle for Beckett to crawl in, Lizst, classical music, minuets, and Beckett chewing on things.

Also talked about Mount Pleasant Park, puzzles, jumping down stairs, Beckett cruising to things aided by the couch, how to properly steer Beckett towards stuff (gentle!), Ayler's music school, bike camp, Seattle's monorail, and reading baby books to Beckett. We had salmon (Omega-3 makes you smarter!), surfboard noodles, papaya, blueberries, apples, spinach, and soup for dinner while Beckett almost got yogurt into his eye from slapping the table when he was done or feeling excited. Sure, I can come by next Monday! Got home at 9:25 after walking from Brighouse since the next 401 and 407 would come by in 20 minutes.


From This Is True: Wilvince Kemmy Bazil?!

glowing_dragon: (Crazy-Eyed Bear)
After COFFEE TIME and a phone call from Uncle Andrew's office to reschedule my appointment tomorrow till next Friday (so I had time to take a shower for today AND revise my blog drafts), I left at 2:30 on a 401 for my appointment at 3 with King-Lok at Touchstone. Buswell was hard to find! Now I know it's behind Saba and pretty near the Richmond Public Market and has a red awning, thanks to the Chinese guys at a nearby business. The appointment went okay, but I didn't know I'd have to score everything afterwards. I was 15 minutes late, which is a great impression to make, but in my defense, I was busy trying to find the place! Yes, it was a largely understanding and respectful experience.

I then went to Captain Wa in the Richmond Public Market for an order of $2 vegetable spring rolls, and walked to London Drugs for Softsoap x2 since I was running out with no backup! Got Juicy Melon and Cucumber plus Vanilla Brown Sugar, and was home at 5 on a 407. Marietta saw me borrowing the medical building's wi-fi and said hi, so I greeted her back, of course. I also decided to email Rachel an update just because. I'll call Dr. Kirker's retina specialist office again tomorrow for that legally-required referral, and just sent Jon a message about next week's availability even if they're probably in Seattle by now.


Softsoap Juicy Melon and Crisp Cucumber refill hand soap!




Vegetable spring rolls from Captain Wa in Richmond Public Market!




Penistone Paramount, South Yorkshire, England?!




From Janina: I'm getting so sick of these double standards. Burn a body at a mortuary and you're "doing your job." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."




From Julie: A thumbs-up clock or a thumbs-up watch! Next time!

glowing_dragon: (No Netspeak!)
I showered and did laundry today. Mom and Dad dropped by at 3:35, and thank goodness that was ALL it was! No, I didn't need to split a $50 bill at the bank since the nearby Coast Capital ATM gives out $50 bills!


Random stuff from Mom and Dad: $50 from Great-Aunt in Hong Kong, powdered Nestlé Coffeemate sachets x3 / instant coffee sachet that EXPIRED in November 2018, THE SWORD OF IMAGINATION: MEMOIRS of a HALF-CENTURY OF LITERARY CONFLICT by Russell Kirk / THE BOOK OF BEEB: FOUR NOVELS IN ONE VOLUME by Frederick Buechner (both from Auntie Brenda), a wooden beaded necklace, veggie rice / roast beef / turkey leftovers from Easter Monday dinner, a thin fuzzy blue zippered San Francisco jacket, three new pairs of white-and-grey No-Show sports socks, a random white face cloth, a random pair of thin grey socks, a thin pink Van Heusen T-shirt with a ridiculous neckline even for an XL size, two wrapped white hotel shower caps, random Chinese body lotion, a Canadian Tire plastic bag, two random plastic bags, a Safeway plastic bag, a blue Princess Cruises tote bag, and a random pair of white and grey socks.

Also got a new grey Joe Boxer "WILD AND FREE" tank top, a blue and tan Chinese PVC purse, a President's Choice Deluxe Cheddar macaroni and cheese box, two random unwrapped white soap bars, new thin lavender Chinese panties from Qian Yi Ting, cougar print panties, thin black lacy panties, four white unwrapped Elemis soap bars, a white wrapped random Chinese soap bar, four random Chinese dental kits with thin toothbrushes and a tiny tube of Chinese A.ME toothpaste, another tiny tube of Chinese A.ME toothpaste, two 50 mL bottles of Elemis "Revitalize Me" hand and body lotion ("Time To Spa!"), Japanese Rashima roasted seaweed x4, Premium Pu Erh tea bags x3, Premium Green Tea bags x4, and a random Narita Airport receipt from Terminal 1 News.


President's Choice Deluxe Cheddar macaroni and cheese!




From Bored Panda: Tatiana Vagina?!




From Bored Panda: Rudi Schits?!




From Bored Panda: E.R. Badcock?!




From Bored Panda: Dick Cooke?!




From Bored Panda: James Cokayne?!

glowing_dragon: (Cherry Cheesecake or Pie)
It's Good Friday 2019 today!


From Julie: YOU WRECKED MY TOILET won the Runner-Up Prize in 1957 for Disgusting Literature?! Sounds about right...




From Ebaumsworld: GOODBYE, TESTICLES?!




From Julie: Marquise?! Your kid isn't royalty!




From Julie: Tisheanna pronounced as Tosh-Ee-Onna?! I would go with Tish-Ee-Anna!

glowing_dragon: (Bert and Ernie)
Jack Daniels is from Chile?!




Mrs. Weiner and Mrs. Butt taught at the Jewish Community Centre?!




From Grammarly: How To Write Good, by Frank L. Visco!

Caveat emptor. Carpe diem. O si villi, si ergo, fortibus is in ero. Et tu, brute.

My several years in the word game have learnt me several rules:

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat.)
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
8. Contractions aren't necessary.
9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
10. One should never generalize.
11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
12. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
13. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. Profanity sucks.
15. Be more or less specific.
16. Understatement is always best.
17. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be avoided.
21. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
22. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
23. Who needs rhetorical questions?

glowing_dragon: (DarkEyedWolf... sex!)
From Julie M. and Wish: The Big Adventures of Tiny Dick coloring book, complete with unicorn and penis?! Also, ILUSTRATED is BAD SPELLING!




From True Crime Daily: Banika Jones?!




From True Crime Daily: Shalice Ravenell?! Too close to CHALICE!

glowing_dragon: (Poop)
From Julie: Toilet Rules: If you lift it up, put it down. If it runs out, replace it. If you miss it, wipe it. If you're finished, flush it. If it smells, spray it. GENTLEMEN: Stand closer! It may be shorter than you think. LADIES: Please remain seated for the whole performance.




From Andrew: An airhorn attached to the toilet with duct tape?! This is literally how you scare the shit out of somebody!

glowing_dragon: (No Netspeak!)
No Rachel today because of the snow!


A Grammar Police badge with an apple! To correct and serve!




From Julie M. and JUDGE JUDY: Capri Williams?! It makes us both think of Capri Sun!




From Julie: David Pecker?!

glowing_dragon: (Default)
I had COFFEE TIME after a useless morning trip to London Drugs for a specific set of Sharpies, but I did see Roberta while wasting my time. Barry picked me up at 1 and we went banking and to Price Smart. I got "free" store brand bottled water x12 thanks to it being on the bottom of the shopping cart, bananas, two $2-off Carlton Cards birthday cards with a coupon, NEW on-sale Earth's Own oat milk, on-sale Earth's Own almond milk, red / blue / black Sharpies x6, on-sale Campbell's soup x5 (New England Clam Chowder x4 and Baked Potato with Bacon), on-sale Olympic Dairy yogurt x2 (Strawberry and French Vanilla), on-sale Knorr Sidekicks x8 (Garlic Butter with Lemon / Creamy Chicken Fusilli x2 / Honey Garlic Noodles / Teriyaki Noodles / White Cheddar with Broccoli / Homestyle Cheddar / Three-Cheese), Stouffer’s Sauté Sensation microwaveable meals x2 (Grilled Chicken Teriyaki / Country Beef Pot Roast), on-sale Uncle Ben's rice x3 (Smokey Beans / Cilantro and Lime / Tomato and Herb), and Kung Tak Lam vegetarian mushroom noodles.

I also bought on-sale GOOD TASTE dumplings (Beef and Vegetable / Cabbage and Chicken / Cabbage and Pork / Pork and Chive / Pork and Celery), Fuku Spicy Soup noodles, Ibumie Mi Goreng Perisa Thai Tom Yam noodles, Vedan Bah Kut tea noodles, on-sale Western Family Winter Wassail spiced holiday beverage x2, on-sale Old Dutch Foods Canada potato chips x3 (Crispy Bacon / Smokey BBQ / Creamy Dill), NEW Palmolive Passion Fruit and Mandarin dish detergent, on-sale Oasis juice x5 (Special Edition apple juice / Orange Pure Breakfast / Apple-Grape / Blueberry-Pomegranate / Pineapple-Banana-Orange), and Nissin black garlic oil noodles. After that, I paid my Shaw bill online at home.


From Julie: 50 WAYS TO EAT COCK?!




Palmolive dish detergent: Passion Fruit and Mandarin!




Juice and chips galore! )
glowing_dragon: (Vancouver Canucks hockey!)
After COFFEE TIME, I went out at 2:05 on a 414 for my last 2018 appointment with Rachel, and got home at 4 on a 407. There IS a two-hour gap in service for the 407 at Brighouse - WHAT THE FUCK?! I showered today. The Canucks played the Lightning at 7 tonight, and lost 5-2 in a fight-filled game.


Hey, Santa! Don't let the kids see you getting high! He's trimming the buds. He's checking them twice. We're gonna get high. It's gonna be nice.




This is why you don't put blue Christmas lights on palm trees... "Alright, Jim, turn the light on... Oh, God... turn them off, turn them OFF!!" They look like PENISES!

glowing_dragon: (No Netspeak!)
Yay - I got all the MOTHER 3 items because of cheat codes! :D


Item Modifier Codes


Lighter's Lumber to Strong Gloves!




Magic Gloves to Canine Weapon!




Thank goodness for Starmen.net and codes! )
glowing_dragon: (Crazy-Eyed Bear)
I discovered redrum this morning - UGH!


From Julie: Kadegah?!




From Julie: Joc?!




Jacarre, Nyla, Natheeah, Lakita, Rapheal, and Saadiq?! )
glowing_dragon: (Happy Birthday!)
Today is Bad Poetry Day! Eric M. called me at 12:40 to see if I wanted a ride to Boston Pizza for Chinese Eric's birthday hangout: a 1 PM BC Lions game against the Toronto Argonauts! Sure, sounded good to me, especially since I'd been going to leave in five minutes anyway! Of course I brought Chinese Eric's birthday card and on-sale Ritter Sport Dark Chocolate with Peppermint and on-sale Ritter Sport Fine Extra Dark Chocolate, which I gave to him right away! I also figured out that my own birthday dinner would probably be at Kisamos Greek Taverna in Steveston on Sunday, September 23rd. When white Eric and I got there, he checked his texts to see that Chinese Eric was already there. The difference between us and my parents: We don't say anything about Chinese Eric waiting for us at a table already, with his back turned to the door!

We discussed CASTLEVANIA, BATMAN, MARIO movies, Wally Buono / Alzheimers vs. Parkinson's, Travis Lulay, some player named Jonathan, my new glasses, catching up on Facebook, the Canucks, pre-season news, new third jerseys for the Canes / Islanders / Flyers, my new computer, Chinese Eric's helping Jon to move a bit of stuff the other day since he actually took work off for his birthday for the first time in four years. Also discussed "interesting" stories of white Eric's work (that wouldn't be a good thing when it comes to fire alarms and stuff!), the Art Gallery, eating calamari / salt and pepper chicken wings / a large Meateor pizza for the price of a Medium (Chinese Eric took the leftover pizza slices home by default), white Eric paying for everything with his credit card (but I gave him $20 for my portion, which he was fine with), replays, touchdowns, and field goals. When Eric drove me home at 4:15 after the Lions lost, I asked if he could figure out the printer while he was here. Yes, the parking pass / parking permit system is annoying! He got things working, tested things out, and left at 4:50 after I thanked him. No chocolate needed this time! Maybe I'll see him again before my birthday dinner, but who knows? The hot water still isn't back on - THE COLD WATER IS SO FREEZING!
glowing_dragon: (Devilish Smile)
After COFFEE TIME, I left at 2 on a 401 to make it to Jon's by 2:30 or so. Ayler asked me whether I brought chocolate this time - nope, because I chose not to, despite what he said about how that wasn't true. He also told me that Jon said I had to fill up their bath water later - I DON'T THINK SO! We made it to Sunrise for skating lessons, with slightly more time to get the kids ice-ready. Harmony and I talked about the baby, Portland, Squamish, Nathan, family, the cute kids on the ice, my toilet book, and how it takes an equal amount of time to leave the house and get ready as it does to have the half-hour lesson. Got home to have fish cakes, lime, laksa noodles, leftover pizza, cherries, and a green melon smoothie with some seeds for dinner. Hiero said that the toy trains were diaper trains, said that Bambi started "fire-burning" by kicking people, and wanted me to read LILY AND TROOPER to him. Ayler just wanted to "show Hiero a trick," which I was 99% sure involved taking my hat off, so I said that I wouldn't read to him if that was the case.

I talked to baby Beckett in his crib when he was being fussy, and later held him for about ten minutes in the rocking chair after doing the dinner dishes. No, Ayler was not allowed to wake him up when he'd just fallen asleep. Harmony had gone to the lards' place briefly to measure stuff after a few people all came at once to view their place - one party was rather late! Jon asked about next week, but I wasn't quite sure with my eventual vision issues. Maybe I can get Barry to drop me off at Oakridge that day... I got home at 8:25 on a 407 because I read bedtime stories to the kids before leaving. Harmony got home again just a bit before I did, actually.


From Julie: WHY GRIZZLY BEARS SHOULD WEAR UNDERPANTS?!

glowing_dragon: (Poop)
Palestine Ace?!




From r/canucks: Jagger Dirk is a Canucks signing?!




From Oddee: Texting with Mom! Mom: "Hi, honey, how was your day? 8=======D" Son: "WTF MOM! WHY'D YOU TYPE A PENIS EMOTICON?!?!?!?!" Mom: "I don't know what you mean. 8===D is an alien smiley face." Son: "No, it's not. It's a penis. Who told you that?" Mom: "Well, I saw it in some of your brother's texts to his girlfriend, and when I asked, he said it was an alien. Wait, so 8=====D- {()} isn't an alien getting on a ship?" Son: "... No, Mom, it isn't."

glowing_dragon: (LJ Drama)
Darwin Tabacco?!




From Reddit on April 13, 2018: Penetrative sex is rape by default now according to some feminists?! Thanks, Needco! It doesn't seem like she believes that, though. PHEW!




From Julie: Trinity and TUNE are together?!




From Julie: This is Tune... you have a bad name, dude!

glowing_dragon: (Crazy-Eyed Bear)
Harmony emailed the family about Hiero's birthday party later this month on the 21st at noon - at least I know where Pizzeria Barbarella IS, and it doesn't conflict with the hockey game later that evening or anything!


From Oddee: Reading this obituary, I don't want to know that Chan Holcombe's dad circumcised him with a pocketknife!




From Lancer on Youtube: Salsa the monkey is delivering Happy Boxes for Fassad in MOTHER 3. He goes to Mayor Pusher's house and meets Mayor Pusher and his wife Elmore. This is an oil painting titled "Mt. Oriander in Summer."




From Aunty Acid: Who names their kid CELEM?! Emerald is a cool name, though!

glowing_dragon: (Vancouver Canucks hockey!)
I left my place at 11:25 (after yelling at Jimmy over Facebook Messenger for the Festivus Airing of Grievances) to meet Kathy, Aaron, and Geoff at Tsawwassen Mills at 12:30. Not too bad - I just had to take the Canada Line to Bridgeport, then the 620 bus. I got there at 12:35, got lost in the Bass Pro Fishing shop (which Mike S. and Scott C. would like), waited for AN HOUR at the food court, and they STILL weren't there yet! (but I did meet a kid named Sawyer who asked what my name was, and whose friend "tied him up" with used dental floss which he'd tried offering me!) Determined NOT to waste my time, I remembered that I wanted to buy teaspoons from the dollar store in Richmond, so I bought them (and tablespoons and a bag of pretzels) from the dollar store there before leaving at 1:35 or so. When I got home, I told Kathy to be on fucking time next time, and then she tried blaming ME for it since she says Geoff was there at 1:15. Then he could also have been proactive and started looking around for people as well. Ugh, never going there again! I also told Julie and (by extension) Wilf about it since the cross-posting Swami could not be denied! Aaron merely wondered if I couldn't make it out: if that had been the case, I'd have told them earlier! He doesn't get my anger, though. The Canucks played the Blues at 7 tonight, and lost 3-1. Good effort, but those empty-net goals!


Julie's autocorrect: "Sore penis" is an acceptable substitution for "swear"?




From Reddit: The Christmas manger scene looks like two Tyrannosaurus Rex dinosaurs fighting over baby Jesus!




From The Onett Times: You have been visited by the Wooly Shambler of Christmas cheer! LIKE or SHARE for all your Christmases to be merry!

glowing_dragon: (LJ Drama)
I happened to look out the window this morning and saw that it was SNOWING! DAMN YOU, KILLER SNOW!


From Snark Ecards: Birth control pills are like cute little Advent calendars for a really shitty holiday.




From Not Always Learning: Katherine Handcock?! I know this makes me immature, but I can't help but snicker every time I see her name in the comments to a story. It makes me think of handjobs, hehehe!




From Not Always Right: Ace Gayhart?! He has a gay heart, hahaha!




From Not Always Right: Rae Gnomie?! Reminds me of gnomes!

glowing_dragon: (French Toast)
Two surprises tonight before my shower: Geoff said he'd be "in town" (Tsawwassen Mills) on the 23rd (a Saturday), and Kathy would probably be there. Depending on the weather, I'm probably in for that! Also, Eric Ho tried calling me (but couldn't get through because the hockey game was on), and then emailed me with a "Yearly Hangout" proposal in the subject line. I HOPE OUR HANGOUTS AREN'T YEARLY NOW! If he actually DOES come through with this hangout before the year ends (which I think is what he meant), I'll be gobsmacked! He says he's been sick on top of having to work, so I can understand that for sure!


From Julie: MERCY is not a name for a GUY!




From Julie: YAK is a human name?!




From Not Always Working: Rachel Wiener?!

glowing_dragon: (Vancouver Canucks hockey!)
I left for baby Henry's 100 Day-ish celebration at Western Lake Restaurant at 4 today. I thought that was early, but considering that I had to wait a bit for the 33 bus to 29th Avenue across the street from King Edward Station, that was okay. Thank goodness that Victoria is a major street! When I got to the restaurant, most people were there already, but whatever. I got to sit at a table with Fraser, Lisa, Harmony, Ayler, Hiero, and Steph's trainer plus her family. Of course I said hi to Melia (I didn't know she worked in the Minoru area!), Angus, Dawn, Eni, Michelle, Daniel, Denise, Margaret, Eunice (who hugged me hello), Chelsea (who hugged me goodbye), her husband Nick, Auntie Christine, Uncle Reuben, Uncle Y.C., Auntie Catherine, Auntie May, Auntie Eva, Auntie Gloria, and Uncle Richard! I managed to put my oversized Santa hat on Henry before eating, haha.

We had a ten-course Chinese meal... SO FULL on fish, veggies (pea tips / carrots / broccoli), shrimp, lettuce wraps, duck meat soup (or whatever replaced shark fin soup), crispy duck, chicken, crab, rice, and tapioca dessert! Fraser was distracted by my bling-bling sweater, for which Lisa blessed me. He named all the colors correctly! Hiero said "no" to the question of whether I was a girl, so I guess I'm a boy by default. Could be worse! Harmony offered to drop me off at a Canada Line station later, so I accepted. She also told me to watch Ayler while she took Hiero to the washroom, but he was all preoccupied with counting the squares on a pillar anyway, so I didn't really need to. Of course I said bye to Steph, Lisa, Fraser, and Henry before leaving! Ayler said that SOMETHING was hurting after being buckled into his carseat... good to know, haha. Thanks to Harmony dropping me off half a block from Oakridge Mall with my leftovers, I got home at 8:05 on a 407 which I only had to wait a few minutes for at Brighouse. The Canucks played St. Louis at 7 tonight. I got home when it was the second period, and the game went to overtime, where Vancouver lost 4-3.
glowing_dragon: (Bert and Ernie)
All rare FINAL FANTASY VI items, some of which you need a code for: Cider, Old Clock Key, Fish, Fish, Fish, Fish, Lump of Metal, Lola's Letter, Coral, Books, Royal Letter, Rust-Rid, Autograph (an opera singer's autograph), Manicure (pretty red manicure), Opera Record (has a small scratch), Magnifying Glass (has a convex lens), Rare Stone / Eerie Stone (a stone unlike any ever seen), Strange Picture / Odd Picture (a very curious picture), Scrap of Paper / Dull Picture (quite a common picture), Pendant.




From Julie and CRIME WATCH DAILY WITH CHRIS HANSEN: Ming Ming Chen seems like a legitimate Chinese double name to me...




From Oddee: Brazilian pastor arrested for convincing followers that his penis contained HOLY MILK!

glowing_dragon: (No Netspeak!)
The FINAL FANTASY V SPOOF party makes it to the Sealed Castle of Kuzar, and come across the 12 Sealed Weapons of de Ownage. One of these is called Lord Bildo's Iron Dildo, hahaha!




In the Spoofed World, Galuf tells the FINAL FANTASY V SPOOF party that Moogles are the most delicious creatures in the world! Moogle flesh is a delicacy!




The FINAL FANTASY V SPOOF party finally makes it to the Moogle Forest. After they eat a Moogle ("Oh God, they ate Mugmug!"), another Moogle falls in love with them and unlocks that treasure chest, which has an Elf Cape inside.

glowing_dragon: (Devilish Smile)



"Your Wine is Cabernet"




You are a resilient and successful person. You have a lot of willpower, and you are more resistant to stress than most people.
You truly appreciate the finer things in life. You are always on a hunt for the best; second place is a disappointment.

You have a strong sense of self, but it's not off-putting. You are well-mannered and can engage anyone.
You could have been very successful taking the traditional route in life, but instead, you've chosen to forge your own path.







Galuf in Tzepish's Castle: "I call out to you... Yog-Sothoth! Master of all that is dark and unholy!!" Bartz: "GALUF?!"




Ninja Wolf to Happy Wolf, Grumpy Wolf, Dopey Wolf, and Doc Wolf: "Oh, I am certainly going to die now. I was a fool not to seek medical aid after losing both legs and five quarts of blood..."




Ninja dojo students! )

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