glowing_dragon: (Poop)
From Julie: B-Horror Movie Title Generator! Night of the Sorority from Outer Space! Yes, it was blurry and cut off when she got it. If you have a first or last name that starts with V-Z, you're out of luck!

Teenage, Biker, Atomic, Killer, Martian, Evil, Psycho, Attack of the, Lost, Curse of the, Radioactive, Night of the, 50-Foot, Invasion of the, Bloody, Revenge of the, The Last, Demon, Return of the, Deadly

Mutant(s), Occult, Amazon(s), Blood-Sucking / Blood Suckers, Clown(s), Nympho(s), Ghost(s), She-Devil(s), Sorority, Vampire(s), Virgin(s), Sex-Crazed (Fiends)

Slumber Party, Camp, Planet, From Hell, Cheerleaders, High School, Beach Party, Zombies, Cat People, Island, Massacre, Misfits, From Mars, From Outer Space, House, Werewolves, Aliens, School Girls, That Wouldn't Die, Prom Night, Robots




From Julie: There are just some sounds that everyone loves. Shoes on gravel. Crackling of a fire. The snapping of necks of those who think they can disrespect you. Cats purring.




From Hell: If Jesus masturbated, would he do it like this up and down normally? Or like this with the holes created by the nails on the cross?

glowing_dragon: (Vancouver Canucks hockey!)
There was snow this morning at 11 AM! Of all the people, Auntie Vonnie texted me (at least identifying herself, unlike either of my parents) saying that the building insurance had expired as of January 4, so I had to call Hester to find out if I still needed it (yes), and then tell her about the light bulb issue. "If the light bulb is broken, that's your job. [NOT what I was calling about...] Turn the TV off. [NOT the TV! THE PRE-GAME SHOW!] Write a note. If I can't understand you, you can't understand me. [WTF?!]" Called the insurance office to see how much it was: $375!

I also got banned from R/Relationship_Advice for literally telling a guy that he was scum since his comment was "My girlfriend got raped and I'm having a hard time with it because I would have been her first if her ex hadn't done that." Fuck that! YOU ARE A SCUMBAG AND A SCUMBUCKET! Then someone on Youtube tried telling me how an insistence on proper spelling and grammar could be ableist and classist - HA HA HA! I don't excuse it EVER unless you are a kid just learning how things work. The Canucks played Boston today at 4, and lost 4-0. I showered today.


From Julie and Anorak UK: KidsExchange?! Master Bait and Tackle?!




I about had a heart attack when some lady pointed towards my waist and said, "Looks like your caulk is falling out."




From Mikey in the V4F Discord server: When there are too many new genders and you want to be clear: DICK OWNER!

glowing_dragon: (Default)
DIRTY JOKES!

How is pubic hair like parsley? You push it to the side before you start eating.

Dirty jokes from Red's Twitch stream! )


After DOUBLE COFFEE TIME, I went out at 6:55 on a 401 to meet Chrystal at the Broadway London Drugs. Good thing I left early since the next Waterfront train was out of service at what HAD BEEN a surprisingly empty Brighouse Station! There was some guy clapping like a seal on the bus and at the station - thank goodness he wasn't in my train car! I got to London Drugs at 7:30, and was happy that there was no lineup at the post office so I could mail Corey and Julie's cards. However, I got a postal worker who was grumpy as fuck: I have NEVER been told that I shouldn't write anything in the corner of the envelope, otherwise the stamp would obscure the destination address! Fuck you, random guy!

Chrystal and I went to Pho Extreme Xe Lua: #17 and #1 it was! SPECIAL! We talked about her nephews Ethan (4) and Ethan (1 and a bit), Ayler, Hiero, Beckett discovering new words and the door, Beckett being "smart" by banging his head on the hardwood floor to delay Harmony's leaving for a school meeting, Beckett being really smart by putting all his molecule balls on the far windowsill so he can play with those and look at the reflected lights across the street at the same time (I left him to do that for a minute - he's fine and preoccupied), my broken suitcase, my replacement suitcase, my upcoming trip, and her just doing family things at home this holiday season. Angus and Melia and Phil and Grace have their own families now, and it would be pretty huge to have a family gathering! I got home at 9:05 on a 407, which is pretty good for leaving at 8:30. (Chrystal bused home again!)


Pho Xe Lua # 17 with Chrystal as a pre-Xmas 2019 dinner: Steak, flank, tendon, tripe, and fatty flank!




Right after Halloween, I was ChristmasFlamHam in Shiwa's Discord server!




From Tommy Chong: What's Your Stoner Elf Name? Mine is Smokey Jingletokes! Mike would be Buddy Evergreens! My ex-friend Jimmy would be Danky Sparklepipe!




Borked Heys suitcase which came with a busted zipper and an almost-impossible push handle...




Successfully packed replacement carry-on American Tourister suitcase with enough room for ALL my stuff, a working zipper, and a much simpler non-push handle! Way easier to maneuver on transit, too! My parents should have just lent me this one in the first place, then I wouldn't have had to store the first one in a weird way so I wouldn't have had to push the handle down every time I wanted to access it. *rolleyes*

glowing_dragon: (DarkEyedWolf... sex!)
After COFFEE TIME, I went out at 2 on a 414 to see Rachel at the Caring Place. I filled out a year-end satisfaction survey, and was home at 4:10 on a 407.


Jizyah Shorts?! What the hell were her parents thinking?!




From my Endlessly Engrossing Bathroom Reader #22: HOW TO SAVE A BIG SHIP FROM SINKING, EVEN THOUGH TORPEDOED?!

glowing_dragon: (Crazy-Eyed Bear)
Harmony emailed the family about Hiero's birthday party later this month on the 21st at noon - at least I know where Pizzeria Barbarella IS, and it doesn't conflict with the hockey game later that evening or anything!


From Oddee: Reading this obituary, I don't want to know that Chan Holcombe's dad circumcised him with a pocketknife!




From Lancer on Youtube: Salsa the monkey is delivering Happy Boxes for Fassad in MOTHER 3. He goes to Mayor Pusher's house and meets Mayor Pusher and his wife Elmore. This is an oil painting titled "Mt. Oriander in Summer."




From Aunty Acid: Who names their kid CELEM?! Emerald is a cool name, though!

glowing_dragon: (Default)
Chrystal called me from work and then emailed me to say that she couldn't make it to the MEGA SUSHI dinner tomorrow, but still wants to take me out to a birthday meal sometime. I'll for sure let her know what works for me - maybe on Monday or Tuesday. Good thing I didn't call MEGA SUSHI when Laurie said she could come!


All the best... BEER?! ... for your baby?! FAIL!




From Julie S. and Tumblr: Testing out the highest setting on your vibrator!




From Reddit and r/funny: Megapussi chips?!




Urinal tea from Romania! Yummy!

glowing_dragon: (Default)
Since I got up at 7:25 AM, it was COFFEE TIME! Later, I called Seafair Safeway customer service to see if I could return Oakridge Safeway items there instead. Since I could, I made plans to go there to return the Tostitos / Mrs. Renfro's salsa since I can't open it even with the jar opener! Before going out at 12:30, I called Chrystal at work to confirm things for tomorrow since I didn't want to waste a shower later, and we are on! At Seafair, they gave me grief about not specifying the brand and type of salsa since they didn't sell the Ghost Pepper there, so they'd have to throw it out. That's not my problem if I just want to return it - and no, I was not going back to the Oakridge Safeway!

When I got on the 402 back to Brighouse, I was surprised when someone called my name. It turned out that Uncle Peter and Auntie Ying were on that bus, having come from a massage and then doing some shopping later! So of course I talked to them all the way to Brighouse! I browsed Shoppers briefly, then bought Heluva Good dip (French Onion / Dill Pickle) which has a limited shelf life but is WAY EASIER to open, Welch's prune juice (which I could open WITHOUT the jar opener for now), NEW Tasty Bite Thai Lime rice, NEW Tasty Bite Thai Penang Ginger Curry sauce, and a dark blue GOODY toothbrush holder at London Drugs before getting home at 2:40 on a 407 in the rainy weather.


GOODY toothbrush holders!




Chip dips and rice and sauce! )


From Janina: This black guy says, "Why do you complain about being single, but never get out of your house? I guess Mr. Right is gonna break into your house."




From Engrish.com and Library of Most Controversial Files: Please don't touch yourself. Let us help you to try out. Thanks!




The FINAL FANTASY VI: THE ETERNAL CRYSTALS party is talking to the soldiers at Vector just before the dinner banquet with Emperor Zemus. This armored soldier says, "Someone OUTTA thrash ya!" That's a stupid mistake!

glowing_dragon: (Crazy-Eyed Bear)
THIS ENTRY IS ALLOWED TO HAVE NON-ALIGNED TAGS.


Kobe Buffalomeat?! Now, that's a manly name!




Marvin Gay plays basketball?!




Lots of weird and wonderful names! )

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