Tatiana's Wanderings

DIRTY JOKES!

How is pubic hair like parsley? You push it to the side before you start eating.

( Dirty jokes from Red's Twitch stream! )


After DOUBLE COFFEE TIME, I went out at 6:55 on a 401 to meet Chrystal at the Broadway London Drugs. Good thing I left early since the next Waterfront train was out of service at what HAD BEEN a surprisingly empty Brighouse Station! There was some guy clapping like a seal on the bus and at the station - thank goodness he wasn't in my train car! I got to London Drugs at 7:30, and was happy that there was no lineup at the post office so I could mail Corey and Julie's cards. However, I got a postal worker who was grumpy as fuck: I have NEVER been told that I shouldn't write anything in the corner of the envelope, otherwise the stamp would obscure the destination address! Fuck you, random guy!

Chrystal and I went to Pho Extreme Xe Lua: #17 and #1 it was! SPECIAL! We talked about her nephews Ethan (4) and Ethan (1 and a bit), Ayler, Hiero, Beckett discovering new words and the door, Beckett being "smart" by banging his head on the hardwood floor to delay Harmony's leaving for a school meeting, Beckett being really smart by putting all his molecule balls on the far windowsill so he can play with those and look at the reflected lights across the street at the same time (I left him to do that for a minute - he's fine and preoccupied), my broken suitcase, my replacement suitcase, my upcoming trip, and her just doing family things at home this holiday season. Angus and Melia and Phil and Grace have their own families now, and it would be pretty huge to have a family gathering! I got home at 9:05 on a 407, which is pretty good for leaving at 8:30. (Chrystal bused home again!)


Pho Xe Lua # 17 with Chrystal as a pre-Xmas 2019 dinner: Steak, flank, tendon, tripe, and fatty flank!




Right after Halloween, I was ChristmasFlamHam in Shiwa's Discord server!




From Tommy Chong: What's Your Stoner Elf Name? Mine is Smokey Jingletokes! Mike would be Buddy Evergreens! My ex-friend Jimmy would be Danky Sparklepipe!




Borked Heys suitcase which came with a busted zipper and an almost-impossible push handle...




Successfully packed replacement carry-on American Tourister suitcase with enough room for ALL my stuff, a working zipper, and a much simpler non-push handle! Way easier to maneuver on transit, too! My parents should have just lent me this one in the first place, then I wouldn't have had to store the first one in a weird way so I wouldn't have had to push the handle down every time I wanted to access it. *rolleyes*

From Julie: No-Name Halloween 2019 tagging! Michael the Contractor, Small Fish Woman, Alive Toy, Garbage Troll, Hulking Maniac, Private School Child with Stick, Cheese Pervert, and Space Dog.




From Gregg's for Halloween 2013: What's Your Monster Movie? Beware! The Disco Hairy Werewolves!

Turns out that the Halo Top ice cream I bought on July 11 was already expired with a date of June 10, so I ate it TODAY. Screw saving it for my September birthday!


Truman Peyote?!




Sione Tikitaki?!




Andraez Greedy Williams?!




Josey Jewell?!

Jack Daniels is from Chile?!




Mrs. Weiner and Mrs. Butt taught at the Jewish Community Centre?!




From Grammarly: How To Write Good, by Frank L. Visco!

Caveat emptor. Carpe diem. O si villi, si ergo, fortibus is in ero. Et tu, brute.

My several years in the word game have learnt me several rules:

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat.)
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
8. Contractions aren't necessary.
9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
10. One should never generalize.
11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
12. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
13. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. Profanity sucks.
15. Be more or less specific.
16. Understatement is always best.
17. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be avoided.
21. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
22. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
23. Who needs rhetorical questions?