glowing_dragon: (Cherry Cheesecake or Pie)
I discovered that Jason Oboril unfriended me on Facebook - whatever!


Julie M. was on vacation and saw this map at a Pennsylvania visitor centre: Egypt, Effort, Kunkletown (hahaha), Aquashicola (hahaha), and Little Gap?!




I got my third Reddit silver on January 24, 2020 for telling Vinnie9911 that he's the asshole for posting a huge wall of text and not including paragraphs in his OP!

glowing_dragon: (Vancouver Canucks hockey!)
PRODUCT WARNING: NO MORE Method dish soaps! The pump doesn't work right, causing it to squirt all over the place!


Frozen Bao (from the Blood Games) finally unfriended me or deactivated his profile. The Canucks played Minnesota tonight at 7:30, and lost 4-3 in the shootout...


On December 29, 2019, I got a second Reddit silver award and plenty of imaginary Internet karma points by saying "Yum, sand!" in response to LemmeLaroo confusing DESERT with DESSERT!




From a Fearsome Canucks Fans member request: Keep Calm and Go Canucks!




From multiple Discord servers, Shiwa and V4F: RooCop emote!




From multiple Discord servers, Shiwa and V4F: RooCop emote, enlarged!

glowing_dragon: (Crazy-Eyed Bear)
From RobotRosa: "Disconnection from women is less forefrontal. They heteronormate." WHAT THE FUCK?! STOP MAKING UP WORDS!




From the Fearsome Vancouver Canucks Fans: Trena Schmidbauer?! BAD SPELLING OF TRINA!

glowing_dragon: (Devilish Smile)
From Janina: Guy says, "Aww, babe, look at you. Getting romantic with all of these candles." Me: "First of all, I'm about to sacrifice you."




From Julie: Cindy is fine, but Mickey for a girl?! Plus Tyheem?!




From Julie: Johnny is obviously fine, but Felica?! So close, yet so far... BAD SPELLING OF FELICIA! Felica says the condoms she found proves Johnny is having a secret sexual affair.




From Julie: Q is a girl name?!




From Julie: Deshauwn?!




From Julie: Teron?!

glowing_dragon: (Bubble Tea)
Kobe Bryant died today in a helicopter crash!


From Julie: A book called I'M DEAD, NOW WHAT?!




From Julie: Humorous office organizers! Crap to file! Crap to shred! Friday is my second-favorite F-word! Too busy for bullshit now!




From Julie: Pet wine glasses! Catwine! Meowsling!

glowing_dragon: (Crazy-Eyed Bear)
新年快乐!

GUUNG HEY FAT CHOY! HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR 2020! It's the Year of the Metal Rat... YAY!







From Not Always Right: Grumpy Cat says, "I looked up STUPID in the dictionary. They spelled your name right."




From AskReddit: Philander Smartt was a Mormon missionary?!

glowing_dragon: (Default)
DIRTY JOKES!

How is pubic hair like parsley? You push it to the side before you start eating.

Dirty jokes from Red's Twitch stream! )


After DOUBLE COFFEE TIME, I went out at 6:55 on a 401 to meet Chrystal at the Broadway London Drugs. Good thing I left early since the next Waterfront train was out of service at what HAD BEEN a surprisingly empty Brighouse Station! There was some guy clapping like a seal on the bus and at the station - thank goodness he wasn't in my train car! I got to London Drugs at 7:30, and was happy that there was no lineup at the post office so I could mail Corey and Julie's cards. However, I got a postal worker who was grumpy as fuck: I have NEVER been told that I shouldn't write anything in the corner of the envelope, otherwise the stamp would obscure the destination address! Fuck you, random guy!

Chrystal and I went to Pho Extreme Xe Lua: #17 and #1 it was! SPECIAL! We talked about her nephews Ethan (4) and Ethan (1 and a bit), Ayler, Hiero, Beckett discovering new words and the door, Beckett being "smart" by banging his head on the hardwood floor to delay Harmony's leaving for a school meeting, Beckett being really smart by putting all his molecule balls on the far windowsill so he can play with those and look at the reflected lights across the street at the same time (I left him to do that for a minute - he's fine and preoccupied), my broken suitcase, my replacement suitcase, my upcoming trip, and her just doing family things at home this holiday season. Angus and Melia and Phil and Grace have their own families now, and it would be pretty huge to have a family gathering! I got home at 9:05 on a 407, which is pretty good for leaving at 8:30. (Chrystal bused home again!)


Pho Xe Lua # 17 with Chrystal as a pre-Xmas 2019 dinner: Steak, flank, tendon, tripe, and fatty flank!




Right after Halloween, I was ChristmasFlamHam in Shiwa's Discord server!




From Tommy Chong: What's Your Stoner Elf Name? Mine is Smokey Jingletokes! Mike would be Buddy Evergreens! My ex-friend Jimmy would be Danky Sparklepipe!




Borked Heys suitcase which came with a busted zipper and an almost-impossible push handle...




Successfully packed replacement carry-on American Tourister suitcase with enough room for ALL my stuff, a working zipper, and a much simpler non-push handle! Way easier to maneuver on transit, too! My parents should have just lent me this one in the first place, then I wouldn't have had to store the first one in a weird way so I wouldn't have had to push the handle down every time I wanted to access it. *rolleyes*

glowing_dragon: (Poop)
DIARY OF A FARTING GHAST: AN UNOFFICIAL MINECRAFT DIARY?!




From JP: A cat sitting in the toilet with a roll of toilet paper, giving you a WTF look!

glowing_dragon: (French Toast)
Corbin Cone added me to Facebook via the Fearsome Canucks Fans - that's fine for now.


From Julie: A blue moon dragon! Goodnight, world!




From Holidays That Might Get Overlooked: A movie girl with a red dragon!




From Dragons: CAUTION: FLAMMABLE! Attempting to enslave dragons may result in severe burns!

glowing_dragon: (Vancouver Canucks hockey!)
The Canucks played Columbus at 7 tonight, and lost 5-0 for a dubious record of ten shutouts this season so far, which is the most in the NHL.


From The Blog of Funny Names: Greg McKegg?! Bonus: He wore 69 for the Toronto Maple Leafs!




From Quotes, Fun, and Sarcasm: Mehboob Hassan?!




From my Endlessly Engrossing Bathroom Reader #22: SHORT-TERM VISUAL INFORMATION FORGETTING?!

glowing_dragon: (Vancouver Canucks hockey!)
Of all the people, Uncle Joe added me to Facebook - HAHAHA! The Canucks played the Flames at 7 tonight, and lost 3-1.


From Julie: Maddelyne?! If I have to write it down to make sure that I spelled it correctly, it’s definitely BAD SPELLING!




Bad and confusing names! )
glowing_dragon: (No Netspeak!)
From Reddit and r/funny: YOU'RE! NOT YOUR! PNG and GIF!






From the Daily Mail: There's a valley named Scratchy Bottom near Durdle Door in Dorset, England?!




From Julie: AERON?! BAD SPELLING OF AARON!




From Julie: DEIRDRE?! BAD SPELLING OF DEIDRE!




From Julie: Nyisha?! Makes me want to pronounce it as "En-Yisha"...

glowing_dragon: (Poop)
I got a phone call and email from FYI Doctors, saying that my NEW GLASSES are ready! At least my spare glasses don't have to be from the late 90s or early 2000s now! So I went out there at 4:35 before they closed at 5:30, to get my NEW GLASSES! Then I went to London Drugs to get NEW Hungry Buddha Jalapeno-Lime coconut jerky, NEW Late July Organic Snacks Jalapeno-Lime tortilla chips for the timing coincidence since it is also late July time-wise, an Alter Eco Pacific Salt and Malt chocolate bar to replace the one that I gave to white Eric on Monday night, and NEW mini AERO Canada peppermint balls. I also mailed a birthday card and some stickers to Fraser, and put the chocolate items in my handy freezer bag. Almost as soon as I got home at 5:20 on a 407, I had to poop.... but I ended up throwing away my panties AND shorts anyhow! UGH!


Via Janet on LJ: This wife is offering a coffeepot to her grumpy husband in the morning. "Ready for your performance-enhancing drug?"




NEW Hungry Buddha Jalapeno Lime coconut jerky!




NEW Late July Jalapeno Lime tortilla chips! I had to get them because it is also late July time-wise, hahaha.




NEW mini Aero peppermint balls!

glowing_dragon: (LJ Drama)
After Barry dropped me off at Oakridge at 10:35 AM, I bought NEW Taki's Fuego Mexican snacks / NEW Taki's Xplosion Mexican snacks / NEW Taki's Angry Burger Mexican snacks / NEW Taki's Crunchy Fajitas Mexican snacks / NEW Peace Tea Peach Party iced tea / NEW Mini Rolos as a treat after my eye exam / NEW Take Home Size Maltesers at the Oakridge Safeway. I also had a NEW Korean Pulled Pork six-inch sandwich at the Subway in the food court since I was right there anyway and needed to eat. Then I returned the chocolate - TOO HOT AND IT WOULD MELT IN FIVE MINUTES!

Later at Oakridge Station, some guy practically threatened to sue me over incidental contact with my bulky reusable bag. This city, I swear. Just because you wanted to get by after maneuvering your bike into the elevator does NOT mean you get ALL THE SPACE EVER! I wasn't even in his way! That wasn't even the first person who had a problem with my reusable bag, as there was some lady on a crowded Canada Line train who said "You're excused" after I entered the train at 49th and got a seat.

When I got to Jon and Harmony's at 2:10, the door was open since it was still pretty hot, so I just got to invade the living space. The kids greeted me with "YOU BREAK IT - YOU FIX IT!" but calmed down and told me that they'd gone to Granville Island today. We heard about a Canada Line emergency - thank goodness that it didn't affect me, only Olympic Village to King Edward! (it did affect Jon coming home from teaching) The skating lesson went fine - I told Harmony that no, I didn't have to pay anything for the eye ultrasound or cataract surgery!

Hiero told me that he didn't like it when I farted - he just likes his own farts. Okay, then! We had pizza, more laksa, blueberries, and corn on the cob for dinner after I read some more Robert Munsch stories. I got to hold a content baby Beckett for a while (and show him a few books) when Jon was finishing up with his piano student Curtis, but the baby started crying almost as soon as Curtis left! (before, I told Curtis to "quick - play some music!" when Beckett started fussing at the start of the lesson) I went through the Translink route map with the kids when Harmony grew tired of it, and left at 7:30, just managing to get a 49 before getting home at 8:10 on a 401. I was NOT waiting 20 minutes in the muggy heat!


SPICY SNACKS AND SUBS! )
glowing_dragon: (Consumer Whore)
GOOD TASTE dumplings / DIM SUM! GOOD TASTE dumplings: Beef and Vegetable, Cabbage and Chicken, Cabbage and Pork, Pork and Chive, Pork and Celery!


GOOD TASTE dumplings! JOY dumplings! )


After I had COFFEE TIME, Barry picked me up at 11:50 and we went banking and to Price Smart, where I bought Palmolive Ultra Strength dish detergent for that computer chair which now has grease on it, as per Andrew's and my phone call on Friday about Teunis moving to Saskatchewan because they can buy a house there with saved money / swapping out the computer case for a smaller one in September since it's still part of our deal. I got NEW Nissin prawn noodles x2 / NEW Nissin soya sauce and pork noodles x2 / on-sale Western Family beef noodles x2 / on-sale Western Family vegetable noodles x2, JOY dumplings x4 (Pork and Tri-Treasure, Lamb and Onion, Pork and Vegetable, Pork and Chive), Winter Creek raw oysters x2 for Raw Oyster Day (expires on Aug. 6), NEW on-sale Peace Tea iced tea x4 (Razzleberry raspberry / Lemon Love lemon tea / Caddy Shack tea and lemonade / Greenest of all Teas green tea) and on-sale Earth's Own unsweetened almond milk.

Also purchased on-sale Clorox wipes x2, on-sale Kraft Parmesan cheese, a Hungry Man turkey dinner, Arm and Hammer baking soda, Arm and Hammer toothpaste, on-sale Prego Fresh Mushrooms pasta sauce, World Authentica Cuisine pasta sauce, on-sale Western Family blueberry-pomegranate yogurt, on-sale Western Family frozen vegetables, Vedan mushroom and artificial cuttlefish instant noodles, Wei Lih spicy beef noodles, and Six Fortune broad noodles. Then my debit card got declined a couple of times because I couldn't swipe my chip card, and the magnetic stripe couldn't be read! I think I'll take Barry's advice and go to Coast Capital sometime so I can figure out this shit. After that, I paid my Shaw bill online at home. That also gave me some stress because the bill was twice as high as it should have been, and I had to make a new Shaw ID and secure password at their website! Damn technology!


Updated point total for PEE BEFORE YOU LEAVE: 1814 Reddit karma points!




My newest top-voted Reddit comment: If someone defends themselves by saying "it was just a JOKE!", odds are it wasn't, especially if you found it to be creepy or invasive behavior! This girl's guy friends defended her against a creep!




FOOD! )
glowing_dragon: (Cherry Cheesecake or Pie)
From Julie: Ryker?! As in Rikers Island, but misspelled?! BAD SPELLING!




From Julie: Fuzzy?!




From Julie: Imani?!




From Julie: Eldridge?!




From Julie: Shelona?!




From Julie: Cordell Jr. / Namaurie / Imani?!

glowing_dragon: (Poop)
After DOUBLE COFFEE TIME (and confirming that Steph got Lisa's and Henry's birthday cards which I'd mailed them), Mom and Dad picked me up for lunch at 11:30 at Dinesty Dumpling House to have hot and sour soup, white surfboard noodles with choy, and siu long bao. They gave me a lot of unsolicited advice about my life (apparently I don't need a ride to the eye consultation since it's not actual surgery AND just need not to look at screens in order to get rid of my cataract - yeah right!), are still under the impression that Steph is going to Beckett's baby banquet, eye doctors, surgery, technology, and said I could get green grapes on sale at Price Smart. I declined the temptation to go there, especially with my mom, so I got a ride home with Dad at 12:40.


Random stuff from Mom and Dad: A white floor lamp (which Dad at least helped me plug in), a forest green and white bedside lamp with pink roses / flowers, an old toaster, candy canes, a half-bag full of candy conversation hearts, a package of Nutella and Go! pretzels, a Mr. Munchy milk chocolate Easter bunny with rice crisps, a box of 12 Quaker Quick Oats instant oatmeal packets which expire in January 2019, a box of 12 Quaker Regular instant oatmeal packets which ALREADY expired in November 2017, eight double rolls of Purex Ultra 3-Ply toilet paper, a black Stormtech fall / winter jacket which will replace my white zip-up Stormtech fall jacket (it's MORE THAN FINE to throw things out which don't work for me...), a purple Tabi International coat, a handmade (?) purple yarn vest, a light brown Paraphrase petite flowery wool vest, a random white comb (I almost typed BOMB), and $10 cash.


Also: FUCK EMERGENCY POOPS, MUCH-NEEDED QUICK SHOWERS, AND RUINED PANTS AND UNDERWEAR!


From Julie: Ashley, Franchell, and Esteban for a black guy?!




From Julie: Shaheed?!

glowing_dragon: (Vancouver Canucks hockey!)
Genuine Potts?!




From r/canucks: Nando Eggenberger?!




From r/canucks: Fabian Eggenberger is Nando Eggenberger's second cousin?!




From Julie: Toriana?!

glowing_dragon: (Bert and Ernie)
I went out to vote today, at least.


From Krista: A red dragon guarding a spire from heroes!




From The Bleacher Report: Wolfgang Wolf?!




From Julie: Ted Yoho?! Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!




Anelisa Durham?! I see her parents tried to avoid "anal" in her name by not spelling it as Analisa, but you can still hear it when you say the name. Yuck!

glowing_dragon: (Crazy-Eyed Bear)
THIS ENTRY IS ALLOWED TO HAVE NON-ALIGNED TAGS.


Kobe Buffalomeat?! Now, that's a manly name!




Marvin Gay plays basketball?!




Lots of weird and wonderful names! )

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