glowing_dragon: (Bert and Ernie)
Matt H. unfriended me or deleted his Facebook account, whichever. I discovered that my new CHAMPION shoes were pretty small when it came to taking them off, so after looking up the return policy up online AND calling the store just in case, it was off to the mall on the C94 at 3:30. Luckily, they let me exchange the shoes (paying a $2.80 "cash difference" fee on shoes that are the SAME PRICE) even though there were light dirt marks on them, so I got men's CHAMPION shoes size 7. Not sure why I didn't realize I was buying kids' shoes yesterday... I got home at 4:10 and made dumplings while reconnecting with Jimmy and Lena via Facebook messenger.


From LADbible: Beard facts! Stroking of beard increases concentration, cognitive ability. Science has shown that beards rarely sleep. Beards are almost completely immune to sarcasm. Quadruples handsomeness. Lets you instinctually know where the nearest mountain is. Fits on your face. Dramatically increases your wood-chopping capabilities. Acts as a homing beacon attracting the jealous and admiration of the beardless. Natural bear-repellant when camping or wandering in the woods. Filters the air of toxins, pollution, and stray food.




Here's a bacon dragon on a coffee mug! It's terrifyingly delicious!




This guy Ashanti Witherspoon named his daughter Bwashena?! GHETTO!

glowing_dragon: (Consumer Whore)
I went out to Richmond Centre at 11:30 to see if I could get relatively inexpensive new sneakers from Payless, and I got some CHAMPION Size 6 shoes for $40. I'd rather pay more for a pair that doesn't make me feel like my feet are going to (halfway) slip and fall out of my shoes at any given step! Then I went to Shoppers to get an on-sale T&T beef teriyaki sushi roll for lunch (since it expires tomorrow), and ate that at the food court. After checking my chequing account balance at the bank machine, I got on a 407 at 1:20 and dropped by the pharmacy next door to see if I could get my prescription refill for my birth control before the long weekend, and I did!


From Julie: Madison Beer?!




A cuntface banana!

glowing_dragon: (Consumer Whore)
From Candy: The (Hard Knock) Life of a Facebook Photo! Brought to you by Pixable!


How did you take the picture? With a film camera: What a hipster. Ha! Now you have to get it developed! Don't get it digital: You can't tag people on prints! Get it digital: It's a 21st century thing. Ask somebody about it! LAPTOP!

How did you take the photo: With a digital camera: Do you even know where your cable is? Didn't find it yet. #FAIL

Do you even know where your cable is? FOUND IT! LAPTOP! Does the picture need to be edited? YES! Use (and abuse) the iPhoto enhance feature. Vignette Effect it too, if you're fancy like that.

Does the picture need to be edited? NO. Sure?

Does the picture need to be edited? Don't know how. (?) :/ Haha, guess you're stuck with red-eye!

How did you take the picture? With a phone! Did you hipstamatic / Instagram it? YES! Revel in how original and artistic you are. NO.

How did you take the picture: With an iPad. Do you realize how RIDICULOUS you look? YES! NO. Either way, you don't care, because you know everyone is jealous you have an iPad 2.

Upload Photos to Facebook! Insert a funny / witty caption and tag everybody: yourself and friends! The self-tagging analysis process: You look AWESOME. PROFILE PIC! You look okay. Tag yourself. You look TERRIBLE. DELETE!

Upload Photos to Facebook! The friend-tagging analysis process: They look better than you! Don't tag anyone. You all look okay, or they look TERRIBLE: Tag everyone!

Get likes!

Get a notification saying someone profiled your picture, Realize he or she cropped you out. Tag your hand as evidence of your presence. Consider defriending him or her... leave a snarky comment instead.

Get a notification saying someone profiled your picture. You're in it! LIKE it!

Immediately, half the people untag themselves. (seriously, are they ever not on Facebook?)

Get comments: "Ew! Gross! Take this down. NOW!" Take it down. :( End up with an album half the size you started with. Leave it anyway. Lose a friend, but enjoy everyone else's appreciation!

Get comments: "Awesome pic!" Pat yourself on the back...

And have the picture never be seen again... until one day, someone finds it on a Facebook stalking spree.

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Cody and Corey Manyshots?!

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