Tatiana's Wanderings

Taking 15 flights of stairs to avoid a random man waiting for the elevator is pretty extreme, RobotRosa... how do you live out in the world?! Poor guy! Think about how he must have felt to see a random woman running away from him!




From Julie: My microwave is demanding a child sacrifice!




From Julie: SEXY FOOD FOR SENIORS, by Lorraine?

Jack Daniels is from Chile?!




Mrs. Weiner and Mrs. Butt taught at the Jewish Community Centre?!




From Grammarly: How To Write Good, by Frank L. Visco!

Caveat emptor. Carpe diem. O si villi, si ergo, fortibus is in ero. Et tu, brute.

My several years in the word game have learnt me several rules:

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat.)
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
8. Contractions aren't necessary.
9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
10. One should never generalize.
11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
12. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
13. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. Profanity sucks.
15. Be more or less specific.
16. Understatement is always best.
17. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be avoided.
21. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
22. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
23. Who needs rhetorical questions?

DOUBLE COFFEE TIME! I was ready with Eric's Christmas 2018 Almond Roca when he called this morning at 8:55, which I dumped into the backseat when he mentioned Christmas as a reminder. I took an extra 30 seconds to talk to the security guard, who says that he doesn't know how long they'll be posted in the apartment lobby - then I apologized to Eric about it, who didn't say anything much beyond stuff about how he knows the building doesn't have sprinklers. (it would automatically detect fire and BURNING to call 911!) We got to church on time, and I settled into a pew with Myles, Brittney, and Naomi... I definitely hugged Pastor Dan hello and said hi to Joe! Mom and Dad stayed for ONLY the baby dedication, OF COURSE! I said hi to Uncle Joe and Auntie Wing Yee, and waved to Peter, Holly, Evander, Everett, Jon, Harmony, Ayler, Hiero, and Beckett.

After service, I said hi to Lesley / Frances C. (her mom and a possible get-together) / Eva (Harrison's mom - he's now FIFTEEN?!) / Margaret K. / Ivan W. (eye surgery and Sunday Dinner) / Auntie Esther / Harmony (eye surgery support) / Pastor Dan (eye surgery and Sharon being out of town) / Auntie Catherine (hug) / Auntie Cathy (hug) / Emily Y. (Joey in town often and non-profit work for Big Brothers) / Deb (eye surgery support) / Pastor Fulton / Lawrence / Derek C. / Adam L. / Billy (I have the same eyes?!) and Stella (Steph's family) / Rosenda / Sophia / Natalie / Jeff / Anita / Uncle Wayne and Auntie Susan. It was good to see people and say hi... Eric didn't even HAVE hockey because of some international thing going on in that arena, so I got a ride home from him, avoiding lunch with my parents! Of course Mom had my stuff before she and Dad go on a cruise to Cuba and visit Steph's family.

I made sure that I talked to Jon and his crew, of course, patting Beckett's head as I said hi to him. Hiero was playing with a "paper plane," and I helped Ayler with a Nanaimo Bar at the snack table. Eric and I listened to a comedy podcast, then got stuck in traffic to the Arthur Laing Bridge, so we should just have braved the backed-up Knight Street Bridge instead! I finally got home at 12:35 when we'd left the church about an hour earlier... the Canucks played the St. Louis Blues at 12 today, and WON 6-1! I'm just glad that I have unfettered time to blog at my own pace now!


Random (Christmas!) stuff from Mom and Dad, inside a Lush Cosmetics bag: A Spirit "Size 14" thin blue and white pair of pants which Mom thought would "fit" me (ha ha ha... she forgets about the NG butt size!), two random pairs of grey knee socks, Project 7 Coconut-Lime gourmet gum, a pound of Carnaby (Shoppers Drug Mart store brand) Halloween candy and gumdrops in a tub with NO expiry date, a pack of three pairs of women's athletic socks, two pairs of T-Max Heat Holders casual socks (FINALLY, SOMETHING POTENTIALLY USEFUL!), a random pair of white "socks" which don't even fit over my feet, and a Disney Princess Lip Smackers tub in "Birthday Princess" flavor.


Edit: Harmony and Jon emailed me an invitation to an early Christmas Day dinner. Sounds good to me right now!


Happy Hockey Hanukkah!




Project 7 sugar-free Gourmet Gum varieties: Coconut-Lime, Wedding Cake, Rainbow Ice, First Kiss, Peppermint Vanilla, Grapefruit Melon, Front Porch Lemonade, and Birthday Cake! Eight of them, with 12 pieces per package!

Today is National Rum Day! I got up at 6 AM for some reason - UGH! I had to have a nap at 7:40, and got up at 12 after having a weird dream about an EARTHBOUND-themed transit station (going the wrong way across the street), Mr. Belch / Onett elevators, and Dad ignoring me on the escalators despite an employee telling him "Sir, look after your daughter..." I woke up with OCTOPATH TRAVELER music in my head!

Pest control came by again - MORE bait stations and rearranged mouse traps! I asked Ni whether THAT was why Hester had called me the other day, and he said yes. I'd been avoiding it since I thought it was to scold me about dumping the old computer chair in the dumpster since it was RIGHT AFTERWARDS, but she hadn't even been around then! Thank goodness it wasn't that!


From Julie: Die?! WHAT THE HECK?! At least she named her kid Jessica, which is way more normal...

What a stressful morning! Dad emailed me at 10 to say that I could have lunch with them because they had more stuff for me. I simply said I couldn't make it, because "I've eaten already" could mean "oh, it's just breakfast" in their little minds. Then I called Barry - who was at a goodbye party - to tell him about the cataract consultation date, who said that July 12 (a Tuesday) wouldn't work because he has another client who has a surgery that afternoon, which has been booked for months. He persuaded me to reschedule since I was able to get an appointment within a few days of the eye exam with the retina specialists. So I did, getting a new date a week later of July 19.

I called him back, stating that I had to leave the house soon as it was 11:30 or so. He gave me the dates of July 23 (a Monday) or July 26, another Tuesday. After calling Dr. Wise's office back, I finally got a consultation date of July 26 at 9:15 AM. No, 8:15 AM was way too early, and I apparently couldn't get a later time on that day. Of course, I apologized for trying to coordinate schedules with my ride, but the receptionist seemed fine with it, UNLIKE MIKE! Haha! At 11:45, I then had to poop. Thanks for the warning THIS time, body, but I didn't have much time, relatively speaking! Of course I pooped, but now I really do need to catch the C94!


From Melissa and Buzzfeed Canada: UNO poop-themed card game!




From Julie: A dancing poop with music notes!




From Julie: Gnome on the throne!

Steph let me know that their Christmas card and stickers arrived in the mail today, so that's great! I left at 3:45 to make it to Jon's by 4:30. Knocking on the door since I heard noise from inside, I heard Hiero wonder if it was me. I said yes, Hiero laughed, and Ayler opened the door to me. Hiero said, "Goo-Mah! I KNOW YOU! HAHAHAHA!" Nice! Jon returned the Bible to me (and gave me a black Rampage wallet and some Doritos jalapeno and cheddar chips in a Safeway bag - which expire TOMORROW?! - from Mom), so I simply dropped it off at the Langara Canada Line station when I left their place after a dinner of leftover Chinese food from yesterday's dinner for baby Naomi (Myles' kid and their new cousin - born in early September), and leftover pie / cornbread from Saturday's dinner. Apparently, it was party central this past weekend! Ayler wanted to show me the proper way to draw a star because his teacher had taught him that one-line star, but I can never do those properly. He also wanted to take my Santa hat and wear it (and was successful), even though I said that baby Henry was the only one allowed to wear it, because I don't trust anyone else to just wear the hat without being impish! Ayler also wondered whether certain dates were valid in his perpetual calendar with a tree on it - some were, and some weren't. He knew his own birthday, too!

Hiero wanted me to stay longer, which involves sleeping in his crib. I don't think so! Ayler was also excited about being the special helper (which goes by alphabetical order) in kindergarten tomorrow, telling me that he has to be at school at 8:45 then, and the bell rings at 8:55 and at 12 and sometimes at 3. He also wondered when he'd graduate from his school - not for a while! He also recited the alphabet and said they were writing K tomorrow; when he said "KKK," I briefly wondered what they were teaching kids these days. Then there was a song called MITTENS AND GLOVES. The kids wanted to be very tall, as tall as the ceiling; of course I had to tell them that Robert Pershing Wadlow (the tallest man ever) was more than eight feet tall! Ayler said that he had a friend named Tess at kindergarten (who had a birthday party on Saturday), and someone named Livia, who was different than the Olivia from preschool. Hiero says he plays with garbage trucks at preschool - super!

When Hiero asked why I was cleaning up the puzzle pieces in the back room, I was honest and said that I wasn't in the mood to pick up 200 puzzle pieces again if they wanted to play with it once more. Apparently, Myles got them that solar system puzzle - good times. Ayler wanted to draw on his brother's crib - no, not a good idea! Then he wanted to draw on the floor, then said that it was Uncle Vincent's floor when I reminded him that he probably shouldn't do that. Ah yes, the landlord! At least I got them to draw on the one sheet of memo pad paper that I took into the room along with the toys. Lots of "barns" (I thought Hiero was saying "bombs") and other things were made with the scientific balls and rods! They kept asking why there were sometimes two to four chocolates in an Advent Calendar square, but received an explanation that sometimes it just slides around inside.

Jon's first student (before Randal) was that guy Jeff, whom I had met at least once. When Jon said that the kids might not remember him, I said that one of them had told me that the student was Jeff. Harmony came home after work and adjusted Hiero's buckles - yes, I know Jon technically can't do it since he's teaching, but I never could figure those things out in the first place. I got home at 7:35 on a 407 after having left the house at maybe 6:45 or so, using the open gate to get out and avoid that treacherous step. Woo! I also muted that Eastern Conference Facebook chat with Helen, Jimmy, Tommy, and a bunch of other people indefinitely yesterday, so that'll be good for my sanity as well.


Doritos jalapeno cheddar chips!




Fraser and his "sleeve tattoo" of the stickers I sent his way for Christmas:




After the FINAL FANTASY V SPOOF party defeats Doctor Hiryuu Plant and its Pansies in a boss battle at the top of Hiryuu Valley, Doctor Plant has joined your party!




The FINAL FANTASY V SPOOF party has to sneak into Bal Castle using the moat since the soldiers won't let them in. "Yoink! There was a sword built into the castle wall! Obtained Epee!"




The FINAL FANTASY V SPOOF party has to sneak into Bal Castle using the moat since the soldiers won't let them in. "The castle could collapse at any moment now, but at least you got a cool sword out of the deal!"

During COFFEE TIME this afternoon, I went to the pharmacy next door (propping the side door open with my mop bucket since I didn't want to go around to the front door in the rainy weather) to pick up my newest birth control prescription, Minestrin! It came in two thin wallet-like pouches, which definitely is slightly less waste than three small boxes. Jon wanted to know if I was available to help out with the kids on Mondays again if he was teaching again then - sure, why not? At least I got their newest address so I could look up how to get there on Translink. The Canucks played Philadelphia at 4 today, and won 5-2... it was pretty intense! Seems Kelli changed her address, too, but I totally understand needing to get out of a toxic relationship!


From Not Always Friendly: Tahnee Brown?! If this is an attempt to avoid "Tawnee / Tawny Brown," it doesn't work for me. It reminds me of TAHINI, man! At least those purple pansies look nice...




From Not Always Friendly: Catherine Tree?! Nice! At least her parents avoided any noun / fruit / flower names!




Wait, Catherine Tree is in a relationship with someone named CARSTEN Beyer?!




From my UNCANNY BATHROOM READER #29: Eietyoung Kemp had an underwear gun which killed his friend Robert Alston?!