Tatiana's Wanderings

After DOUBLE COFFEE TIME, I left at 11:15 to meet Mom and Dad for lunch at 11:30 at Dinesty Dumpling House on a 401. They were so damn late that I had to call them from the fucking restaurant to confirm that lunch was on! Then they tried subtly blaming it on me - no, I did not ask for the stuff they passed on to me! No, I did not need to be told what the vinegar and ginger was for - I know SLB routine! Plus, I definitely did not have control over where the waitress seated me! Talked about Uncle William, Hiero "punching" the baby because he was jealous, Ayler being protective of the baby and wanting to sandwich him with cushions (cute but dangerous!), hot and sour soup, my leftovers of rice / egg / bok choy / Chinese sausage, Mom buying herbs, and Dad helping to bring the heavy / bulky microwave and toaster oven inside with the newspaper route cart from the old days. I finally got home at 12:45, and was able to relax thereafter!


Random stuff from Mom and Dad: A Danby Designers microwave which is cleaner than my current one of about the same age, a Sunbeam toaster oven, a comforter, and $5 cash.


From Julie: Oh God, it's a four-in-one! QUADRUPLETS! Lexii, Dewayne, Akea, and Deshay?! Take away an I from Lexii. Akea reminds me of IKEA!




From Julie: P and Lashaunna?!




From Mikki and Tumblr - CoolThingOfTheDay: "Adorable Japanese hamster bread. (Source)" SoundsSimpleRight: "Are you fucking kidding me." Jen-Jen-Jen-Jen: "There's no way in hell I could take a bite out of these." TheMaddFeministDeactivated: "It has a butthole." HaveItJoeWay: "I'd take these to the pet store and just start eating them in front of children." Virgno: "And here you see, in order: A Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin."

I went shopping at 3:55 today after COFFEE TIME: I was planning to get a sandwich, discount Halloween chocolate, and some sensitive toothpaste. Instead, I got this stuff at Shoppers Drug Mart: nut-free Cadbury Festive Friends cookies for Fraser, a discounted Halloween 24-pack of Wunderbar / Caramilk / Mr. Big / Crispy Crunch mini chocolate bars from Cadbury, an egg salad sandwich from Gourmet and Go, on-sale Lay's chips x2 (BLT and ketchup), a Gourmet and Go falafel wrap, on-sale Lipton Cup-A-Soup x4 (tomato soup with croutons), and on-sale Arm and Hammer sensitive toothpaste. While I was there, I went to the post office to buy a bubble-wrap envelope (NO TRACKING NUMBER OR BOX!) and then mail Lena's Lindt gingerbread chocolate truffles and bonus Hanukkah card to Colorado. Then I finally got home at 5 on a 407 - not bad!


From Julie M. and Pinterest: I hate when the credit card reader at the checkout asks if the amount is okay. No... it's not. I want all this crap for a dollar!




( Soup, falafel, cookies, chocolates, and chips! )

Matt H. unfriended me or deleted his Facebook account, whichever. I discovered that my new CHAMPION shoes were pretty small when it came to taking them off, so after looking up the return policy up online AND calling the store just in case, it was off to the mall on the C94 at 3:30. Luckily, they let me exchange the shoes (paying a $2.80 "cash difference" fee on shoes that are the SAME PRICE) even though there were light dirt marks on them, so I got men's CHAMPION shoes size 7. Not sure why I didn't realize I was buying kids' shoes yesterday... I got home at 4:10 and made dumplings while reconnecting with Jimmy and Lena via Facebook messenger.


From LADbible: Beard facts! Stroking of beard increases concentration, cognitive ability. Science has shown that beards rarely sleep. Beards are almost completely immune to sarcasm. Quadruples handsomeness. Lets you instinctually know where the nearest mountain is. Fits on your face. Dramatically increases your wood-chopping capabilities. Acts as a homing beacon attracting the jealous and admiration of the beardless. Natural bear-repellant when camping or wandering in the woods. Filters the air of toxins, pollution, and stray food.




Here's a bacon dragon on a coffee mug! It's terrifyingly delicious!




This guy Ashanti Witherspoon named his daughter Bwashena?! GHETTO!

Jon's friend Jason Lyle added me to Facebook - what?!


From Janina and Not Always Right: A Killer Pickup Line! "You're pretty. You look like someone in my book on serial killers."




Noel has a Facebook friend named Doug KIDNEY, haha!




From Not Always Working: Ohkanda Riki?!




From Not Always Right: Abhi Mayadam?!




From Not Always Right: Sarah Moray?! Reminds me of moray eels...

From Candy: The (Hard Knock) Life of a Facebook Photo! Brought to you by Pixable!


How did you take the picture? With a film camera: What a hipster. Ha! Now you have to get it developed! Don't get it digital: You can't tag people on prints! Get it digital: It's a 21st century thing. Ask somebody about it! LAPTOP!

How did you take the photo: With a digital camera: Do you even know where your cable is? Didn't find it yet. #FAIL

Do you even know where your cable is? FOUND IT! LAPTOP! Does the picture need to be edited? YES! Use (and abuse) the iPhoto enhance feature. Vignette Effect it too, if you're fancy like that.

Does the picture need to be edited? NO. Sure?

Does the picture need to be edited? Don't know how. (?) :/ Haha, guess you're stuck with red-eye!

How did you take the picture? With a phone! Did you hipstamatic / Instagram it? YES! Revel in how original and artistic you are. NO.

How did you take the picture: With an iPad. Do you realize how RIDICULOUS you look? YES! NO. Either way, you don't care, because you know everyone is jealous you have an iPad 2.

Upload Photos to Facebook! Insert a funny / witty caption and tag everybody: yourself and friends! The self-tagging analysis process: You look AWESOME. PROFILE PIC! You look okay. Tag yourself. You look TERRIBLE. DELETE!

Upload Photos to Facebook! The friend-tagging analysis process: They look better than you! Don't tag anyone. You all look okay, or they look TERRIBLE: Tag everyone!

Get likes!

Get a notification saying someone profiled your picture, Realize he or she cropped you out. Tag your hand as evidence of your presence. Consider defriending him or her... leave a snarky comment instead.

Get a notification saying someone profiled your picture. You're in it! LIKE it!

Immediately, half the people untag themselves. (seriously, are they ever not on Facebook?)

Get comments: "Ew! Gross! Take this down. NOW!" Take it down. :( End up with an album half the size you started with. Leave it anyway. Lose a friend, but enjoy everyone else's appreciation!

Get comments: "Awesome pic!" Pat yourself on the back...

And have the picture never be seen again... until one day, someone finds it on a Facebook stalking spree.

Designed by TheLuLab.com




Cody and Corey Manyshots?!

Martin J. has a friend called WINSY CHAN?!




From Janina and Cracked: After signing an autograph for a woman in a busy restaurant, Truman Capote was approached by her jealous, drunk husband. The husband pulled out his penis and asked Capote if he could "put his signature on that." Capote looked from the man to the penis and back to the man again. "I don't know about my signature, but I can initial it."




From Engrish.com and Library of Most Controversial Files: Slip and fall down carefully!