Tatiana's Wanderings

Deliberately leaving things around to trip on?! / Blocking people for fun?! NO!

2020-05-04T04:44:25Z

The kids called me at 6:45 to scream-sing a song about (as far as I can tell) licking bums or nicking bums, and asked me inappropriate questions about whether I'd like to see Jon peeing. No, thank you! Then Ayler asked if I would eat a whole pie (which Hiero said they were having for dessert) because of my "big stomach" - mmm, no, I'm not on MY 600-POUND LIFE! Harmony said that was their father's influence - yeah, I can TELL! I said hi to Beckett, who didn't really say anything. but that's okay. It was pretty brief because they just wanted to sing a song, which is fine. Life is as usual over there, I see! I joked that when social distancing is over, I'd buy a pie to throw at their dad just for all these "jokes."

From Reddit on April 23, 2019: No, PickWhatCar, deliberately leaving things for you to step on is NOT something you should laugh about. It's time to have a SERIOUS TALK with your boyfriend! What if you'd tripped over it and hurt yourself?!

From Reddit on May 14, 2019: No, "I'm blocking you" is not a silly game which should make you giggle. What if you have mobility issues like I do? I don't think you should LIKE being blocked on your way out of a room! For me, the blocking game would NOT be fun. You know I have shit to do and you're getting in my way for fun? Nope, you stay where you are. Besides, you deleted your Reddit account and I still have both of mine, so I WIN!

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GALACTIC GARBAGE STATION, my fourth Reddit silver, Let's Game It Out scenarios

2020-04-20T06:41:53Z

Knorr Garlic Alfredo Fettuccine, the rest of my Classico Alfredo sauce, Jamieson zinc and garlic pills, sriracha sauce, chili flakes, and black pepper as lunch for National Garlic Day today!

An English translation of an amusing Chinese webnovel: GALACTIC GARBAGE STATION! Thanks, Hidden One!

From Julie: Let's Game It Out on Youtube! Weird video game scenarios!

Got my fourth Reddit silver on April 10, 2020 for correcting Ummah_Strong on his usage of "folx." That's not even a word, and should be FOLKS! Then there's "alot" vs. "a lot."

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May Chan, a dehumanizing used condom board, Walker's Oat Crackers, Jimbo leaving

2020-03-02T05:03:28Z

Jimbo / Nate LEFT the SuperFriends Discord server - WHAT THE FUCK?! I went shopping at 2:05 on a 407 for on-sale NEW limited-edition pink packaging SpongeTowels paper towels, NEW London Naturals plant-based citrus detergent, Colgate MaxFresh toothpaste x2 (Clean Mint green / Cool Mint blue), Scrub Daddy, and on-sale Walkers Shortbread Highland Oat Crackers / Three-Seed Oat Crackers before getting home at 2:55 on another 407 prior to COFFEE TIME! May Chan unfriended me on Facebook, but whatever - she was just Gabriel's friend. The Canucks played Columbus today at 4, and lost 5-3 thanks to an empty-net goal AND four unanswered goals in the last eight minutes of the third period... thanks, new goalie Louie Domingue...

My NEWEST top-voted Reddit comment as of February 20, 2020: A used condom display on a public bulletin board IS disgusting and dehumanizing! 5313 points! :D Every time someone uses "body count" to describe their number of sex partners, I think: "HOW MANY PEOPLE DID YOU KILL?!?" because THAT is what "body count" really means! Millennials and zoomers, I swear...

NEW limited-edition pink packaging SpongeTowels paper towels!

NEW London Naturals plant-based citrus dish detergent or dish soap!

NEW London Naturals plant-based unscented FREE AND CLEAN dish detergent or dish soap!

Walkers Shortbread Highland Oat Crackers!

Walkers Shortbread Three-Seed Oat Crackers!

Colgate MaxFresh Clean Mint toothpaste!

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Vagina-having children?! WHAT THE HECK?! / Knorr Teriyaki Noodles Sidekicks!

2020-02-29T04:41:37Z

Since Chinese Eric confirmed that he is coming over tomorrow, I went to Shoppers at 5:15 on a 401 and bought President's Choice Smokey Bacon and Chive quiches, Reser's Main St. Bistro signature mashed potatoes, and President's Choice meat lasagna. $26 every few months isn't that bad, and I already have chips galore here! Got home at 6:05 on a 407, too!

From Reddit on October 13, 2019: No, BamSlamThankYouSir, we do not refer to children as "vagina-having children." Also, ALL women have vaginas!

Knorr Teriyaki Noodles Sidekicks!

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Egypt, Effort, Kunkletown, Aquashicola, and Little Gap?! / Third Reddit silver!

2020-02-21T04:39:13Z

I discovered that Jason Oboril unfriended me on Facebook - whatever!

Julie M. was on vacation and saw this map at a Pennsylvania visitor centre: Egypt, Effort, Kunkletown (hahaha), Aquashicola (hahaha), and Little Gap?!

I got my third Reddit silver on January 24, 2020 for telling Vinnie9911 that he's the asshole for posting a huge wall of text and not including paragraphs in his OP!

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No Method soaps! / Second Reddit silver! / Keep Calm Canucks! / RooCop emote!

2020-02-20T06:30:16Z

PRODUCT WARNING: NO MORE Method dish soaps! The pump doesn't work right, causing it to squirt all over the place!

Frozen Bao (from the Blood Games) finally unfriended me or deactivated his profile. The Canucks played Minnesota tonight at 7:30, and lost 4-3 in the shootout...

On December 29, 2019, I got a second Reddit silver award and plenty of imaginary Internet karma points by saying "Yum, sand!" in response to LemmeLaroo confusing DESERT with DESSERT!

From a Fearsome Canucks Fans member request: Keep Calm and Go Canucks!

From multiple Discord servers, Shiwa and V4F: RooCop emote!

From multiple Discord servers, Shiwa and V4F: RooCop emote, enlarged!

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Toothbrush bristles are NOT Brussels! / Kids should be playing Nintendo games!

2019-11-29T02:26:49Z

I was barely awake or coherent this morning, and snarked at a few people about their assumption that EVERYONE has Thanksgiving today. Also added Kate to Hangouts - she thought that Mike's email address was hilarious! Facebook was also down this morning, and now I can't seem to tag anyone! UGH!

From Reddit on June 8, 2019: No, TheOnlyChoco, we do not refer to toothbrush bristles as BRUSSELS. Are you five years old?!

Captain Strong lecturing Ness at the Onett police station in EARTHBOUND: "At times like this, kids like you should be playing Nintendo games."

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Word Counter Tool / 36 and 24 is a pretty major age gap! / Maranda Johnson?!

2019-11-23T04:47:12Z

Went to London Drugs at 3:15 on a 407 to get some cheaper Advent calendars x7, which I finally found in the form of on-sale $2 Windel Advent calendars. I'm not paying $9 for one, LINDT! I also got American Greetings Christmas stickers x5 (ornaments / cats / dogs / snowflakes / reindeer / winter), ten Scrub Daddy sponges, and 400 Mead index cards, getting home at 4:20 on a late 407. I also had to measure my duffle bags

Word Counter Tool since CharacterCountOnline.com is offline now for whatever reason. At least the annoying SEO Keyword Tool stuff is BELOW what I need! There was another Word Count Tool, but I don't care about the readability level of my blurbs right above the text box.

( Christmas stickers and duffel Tracker bags from Bentley! )

From r/relationship_advice on September 18, 2019: No, aliibe, 36 and 24 is not "literally almost a decade." It is in fact 12 years... MORE than a decade! Reminds me of these ditzy girls that my sister saw at the park once. "75 minutes?! That's, like, almost an hour!"

Also, throwawaypeen12345 is NOT making himself look good with the clickbait (he has no penis) OR trying to downplay the MAJOR age gap when he LEADS OFF with that…

From Reddit and r/vancouver: Maranda Johnson?! BAD SPELLING OF MIRANDA! Or is it like the FINAL FANTASY VI town?

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Cards Received, 2019!

2019-11-17T04:34:11Z

Cards Received, 2019!

Metallica, "Jump Into The Fire"

Special 2019 (1)

* Nepenthes: "Flamsterette_X, I hope this feminist BEFORE YOU ASK, THE ANSWER IS NO pin makes its way quickly to you. Thank you for rehoming her. :) Enjoy. My name's Latin for a type of pitcher plant."

Birthday 2019 (3)

* Julie: "Happy birthday to you! Here's to many more years of memes, bad names, strange foods, and mass murderers! Have a great day!! :)"

* Jeremy: "Guess what? Chicken butt. I'm glad to celebrate another birthday with you, Leslie. Here's to many more, lots of laughs and good times. Jeremy."

* Randal: "Dear Leslie, The elephants on this card are not a reminder to vote Republican next year. Even if you could, I would not want you to. Rather, I want to say that Donald Trump is proof that not everyone gets better with age - but some do. I believe that you are one of those who gets better with age. Randal."

Christmas 2019 (0)

* s

Total: 4

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WOMEN, not womxn! ARE YOU STUPID AND A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE?!

2019-11-16T23:03:34Z

From Reddit on August 3, 2019: WOMEN does not need to be censored to "womxn," Bebacksoonish! Are you a special snowflake?! Never mind "gender identity" of ALL possible readers...

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Machines and rice! / Halloween dragons! / Pumpkin spice cheesecake cookies?!

2019-10-23T08:00:13Z

Harmony texted me to say that she'd booked the cleaners again at 3 on Thursday - yes, that works for me! After COFFEE TIME, I left at 3:15 on a 407 to help with the kids. I couldn't pay my bus fare by cash, so that worked for me transfer-wise. I swear I put in enough change in my pockets before I left, but the Compass Card / Ticket machine insisted that I put in 30 more cents! On the way back, it insisted I needed 20 more cents... digging out my wallet AGAIN and making sure I put in enough to satisfy the fucking thing (and getting a warning that my transaction was about to expire - FUCK YOU!) PLUS the slow as FUCK elevator made me miss the next train to Brighouse! I finally got to Marine Drive Station at the normal time, then decided to go do some shopping since I was out anyway: Samyang Buldak Topokki Fire Noodles from T and T, plus NEW limited-edition Doritos Sonic Sour Cream chips and on-sale Uncle Ben's Jasmine Rice x4 for my chili from Shoppers!

Then I managed to get the 3 Downtown bus at 4, with only five minutes left on my transfer. I have no idea how it took that long! Got to the house at 4:35, where Beckett was awake and crawled to the bathroom when I'd opened the door, wanted to play with the orange alphabet and letter board, throw the colorful maraca around (and cry when I took it away temporarily), play with the purple shell, and read with me (much to Hiero's consternation!) on my lap. Ayler was talking about growth percentiles and a chart from the hospital, and said that at Christmas, we should check to see if he was up to my chin yet even though he's close enough to 4 foot 1 to say he's that height. Haha, sounds like a plan!

We talked about the world's largest baby, voices, boundaries, rules, minestrone, lentils, whole grapes (which Beckett CAN'T EAT!), protein, beans, iron, expensive sourdough bread, Beckett throwing food around (but he eats more for Jon!), Halloween costume ideas, a heavy bag of stuff from Mom, the Buzzer / the West Coast Express, Pitt Meadows, Maple Ridge, bus timetables, the cleaners, school friends, and the Pig / Elephant library books. I didn't mind if Beckett wanted to read, but I carried him away from certain things: the mat is safe, but not the kitchen! Maybe I'll get Ayler a kiddy version of the Guinness Book of World Records or something.

Harmony let me leave at 7:10, and I only managed to get the 3 Main because a random girl told the bus driver to hold on at the bus stop, so I thanked her and the bus driver in turn. My trip to the station also happened to be free since I was only carrying cash! When I got to Marine Drive Station, I took advantage of the statue and saw what Mom and Dad had randomly given me. UGH, CAST IRON?! I offloaded the skillet and pan right there; I didn't care what others thought! After taking advantage of the wi-fi for a bit, I was finally able to take a Brighouse train, no thanks to the aforementioned stupid machine and slow elevator! I was only just able to get the 407 at Brighouse because of a lineup, despite the slow people using the elevator and fare gates... I finally got home at 8:35. The Canucks played the Red Wings today at 4:30, and won 5-2!

Random stuff from Mom and Dad: A small iron skillet, a tiny cast iron pan, 900g of No Name spaghettini, and 425mL of Bullseye bold original barbecue sauce. No wonder it was so heavy and I could barely walk at my normal speed!

Uncle Ben's Jasmine Rice!

900g of No Name spaghettini - YAY!

Bullseye bold original barbecue sauce!

From Cuya's Discord server: Pepperidge Farm pumpkin spice cheesecake cookies in a limited edition for Halloween 2019?!

From Julie: Skull with Dragon by Ashland! BLACK DRAGON!

From Dragons: Halloween orange dragon with bats, a tree, and jack o'lanterns!

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Phone photo dump! / Salmon, delays, and congee! / Pumpkin spice chicken wings?!

2019-09-25T10:29:54Z

It's National Punctuation Day today... MY FAVORITE! After COFFEE TIME, I had to leave at 2 on a 401 and then a 410 (which I just got to on time, no thanks to idiots blocking my path on the sidewalk) for my appointment with Dr. Ruby before I helped with the kids. That was uncomfortable - I also saw a professional Audrey. Also, I had to buy more NEW Beehive Burst Peppermint lip balm at the Dollar Tree since there was no photo online that I could find, so I had to take my own photo. (I had ripped mine open last week before I figured this out...) I was there on time, but STILL had to wait 20 minutes to be seen! UGH! I should have gone to Dollar Tree before rather than after! Then I tried to speedwalk over to Lansdowne station a block and a half away, and just missed a Waterfront train thanks to these two slow ladies on the elevator going down.

When I got to Marine Drive station, I definitely needed a snack, so I went to Tim Horton's. Luckily, there was no lineup, so I got a non-sticky cheese tea biscuit and then got out of there to find that a wheelchair wanted to get on the 3 as well. Then a stroller wanted to get on - at least this one contained a fairly curious kid who growled and made various noises, unlike the other stroller who got on after that one left! After another delay caused by the driver stopping in the middle of the road for five minutes to check an alarm that was going off, I finally got to Mount Pleasant at about 4:20 when I could have been there at 4:05! Too many delays! Yeah, I used Term to complain to via text, haha.

Inside, Penny was just finishing up speech therapy while Beckett was failing at napping again. Almost right after Penny left, it was off to the park across the street because Harmony wanted to walk Beckett around the playground to see if he'd nap then. Spoiler alert: He did not. Ayler asked if I wanted to play tag or Manhunt - no, because I had run out of energy and was like a car which had run out of gas. Hiero asked why I walked how I did, so maybe Jon and Harmony should talk to him about it at some point. Once we got home again after more promises of consequences, I got to play with Beckett for a bit. He liked the baby pop-up toy because it made him laugh more than usual, wanted me to shake my head a lot because it was funny, liked PEEK-A-BOO as per Hiero, tried eating my DRAGON HOODIE strings again, and climbed on me a few times. (he did pull Hiero's hair, though!)

At the same time, Hiero was trying to show me his origami. Blowing up squares to make huge boxes, oh my! Later, I stayed close as Beckett crawled on the couch despite Ayler telling me not to let him do it. Well, you're doing and completing a HUGE connect-the-dots puzzle, so I'll do what I want while keeping Beckett safe in my own way, including trying to put on one of his missing socks. We had salmon, congee, Chinese chicken soup, meatballs with ketchup and barbecue sauce, some veggies, and ridiculous amounts of shredded pork. Then we talked about whether Jon had been shot today at the Downtown Eastside (he was fine and didn't have to lie on the floor as per Hiero's question), why people shoot at each other ("because some people think that the best way to resolve their problems is with guns" and "that's why we don't joke about guns"), my Cactus Club birthday dinner, Ayler seeing Brooke early this morning ("how do you know?"), Hiero doing flips and gymnastics in the elevator earlier and being injured, and how much everyone in the family could eat compared to each other.

After I washed dishes for a bit, I read to Hiero about Optimus Prime and the Decepticons, then listened to Ayler play a boogie on the piano before listening to him read a Level 2 story about polar bears. Sure I had to help him with some words, but that's normal. I left at 7:20, but couldn't get a 3 bus till 7:40 thanks to a couple of buses being out of service! I missed a Brighouse train by five minutes, and JUST managed to get a 407 at Brighouse, no thanks to people blocking my path where I was going to run to the front door of the bus. Do I really have to shove my way past other people all the time to get where I'm going in a timely fashion?! I got home at 8:35, checked my mail, and found Julie's birthday card plus random stuff - yay!

Random stuff: Nathan returning the OUTLANDER novel to me, six packs of Compliments Safeway brand spicy chicken instant noodles, and yet another pair of reading glasses. Good thing I didn't buy the Jergens lotion today because of all the walking I had to do, AND the utter weight of the 650-page paperback book!

From WINGS Restaurants and Pubs: Pumpkin spice chicken wings for fall 2019?! BLEH!

( Peppermint lip balm, birthday swag, Compliments instant noodles, a bunny, construction workers looking out for the baby rabbits, doughnut drawing at the hospital bus stop, Polestar planner )

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Richmond Centre Cactus Club, NO FLAKES, Cambridge Wesley Sand Flatware cutlery

2019-09-23T04:20:46Z

After COFFEE TIME, Eric M. picked me up at 7 so we could go to the Richmond Centre Cactus Club. Yay for both Erics, Randal, and Jeremy! I assume Chinese Eric was texting white Eric while we were trying to find parking at the mall, so I texted him saying just that, then he suddenly appeared when we had finally parked. We had to wait 45 minutes to be seated, so we just chilled in the mall coffee shop area while talking about Randal's sales guy taking them all out for lunch at that Cactus Club a couple of weeks ago, my giving Chinese Eric the last bag of Chitato Indomie Mi Goreng chips, Randal and Jeremy giving me birthday cards, the BC Lions (so boring), and Nathan not being able to make it. (HE isn't a flake!)

Once we were seated, I ordered a jambalaya rice bowl and iced tea. Randal had steak and frites with some beer, Chinese Eric had flatbread, white Eric had some blackened Creole chicken, and Jeremy had some butternut squash ravioli with prawns. Chinese Eric had a nosebleed halfway through dinner, but he wasn't sure what it was at first. I even took the napkin and moved it closer to the candle to see if it was sauce or something else. At least I wouldn't have to deal with that if it happened to Jimmy anymore! Chinese Eric tilted his head back and not forward, contrary to white Eric's Googling. (I had to go in as Cactus Guest)

We talked about our food, how bubble tea ISN'T some new fad, Jon, Harmony, Ayler, Hiero, Beckett, their not having a microwave (so they're the healthiest kids that Randal knows), Randal not taking piano lessons for the right reasons (and practicing was getting tedious), the automatic blinds ("why is it so dark suddenly?"), Justin Trudeau's blackface scandal, real-life Twitch streams, raiding Area 51, the Toronto Raptors memorabilia (white Eric had the right hoodie!), a future sports hangout, Jeremy not texting at all, Hiero's view on kindergarten, the fire outside, and just hanging out. They convinced me to order a dessert since it was my birthday dinner, so I did - white chocolate cheesecake! Then I found some Area 51 Naruto runners from a different angle on Reddit, and had to show Jeremy - he laughed! Randal commented that my phone's camera flash was really bright - well, the restaurant was really dark at that point! White Eric drove me home at 10:30, and it had really started raining then.

Cambridge Wesley Sand Flatware cutlery!

Jambalaya rice bowl at the Cactus Club: Shrimp, chicken, chorizo sausage, vegetables, bacon, spicy tomato sauce, black bean salsa, and crème fraîche!

White chocolate cheesecake at the Cactus Club: Chocolate cookie crust, raspberry compote, hand-whipped cream!

Jeremy's order of butternut squash ravioli at the Cactus Club for my birthday 2019 dinner! Chef Rob Feenie's signature butternut squash and mascarpone ravioli, truffle butter, sautéed jumbo prawns, pine nuts, and crispy sage.

White Eric's order of Blackened Creole Chicken at the Cactus Club for my birthday 2019 dinner! Creole butter, Cajun spices, buttered mashed potatoes, and roasted asparagus.

Randal's order of Steak Frites at the Cactus Club for my birthday 2019 dinner! Eight-ounce certified Angus beef sirloin, kale salad, horseradish cream, and sea salted fries.

Chinese Eric's order of Rob's Flatbread at the Cactus Club for my birthday 2019 dinner! Caramelized onions, grape tomatoes, feta, goat cheese, basil pesto, arugula, and balsamic glaze.

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Margarine, sponges, steel wool / VAGINA and DISCHARGE the noun ARE NOT VERBS!

2019-06-04T01:59:45Z

I managed to focus, and finished a few sub-projects recently! Left at 5:10 on a 401 (just managing to get the bus) to get some Meadowvale margarine / London Naturals foam scour sponges x4 / store brand steel wool (Spiral Scours) from London Drugs, and came home at 5:40 on a 407. BUS EFFICIENCY!

London Drugs extra-strong steel wool Spiral Scours, also available in gold!

London Naturals foam scour sponges!

From Reddit on February 5, 2019: No, OKRoom9, we do not preface our replies with "lmao" with a bunch of extra O letters in there for "flavor." Laughing my ass off off off off...??? We also do not use "discharging" as a verb in that way when you're talking about the NOUN of "discharge," nor do we use "vagina" as a verb in that way. Yes, verbing weirds language, BUT NOT IN THAT CONTEXT! How old are you, 12? Never mind that free bleeding is gross anyway...

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Christmas Day Balam Koyoc, Hashtag Follow Contreras Sepulveda, Krystyne Alyse?!

2019-02-18T04:44:11Z

Christmas Day Balam Koyoc?!

Hashtag Follow Contreras Sepulveda?!

Kitty has a Facebook friend named Krystyne Alyse?! Way too much Y in that name... BAD SPELLING!

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Dehydrated cow manure, poop emoji Beanie Babies, 195 thumbs up on Youtube!

2019-02-17T02:59:52Z

From Julie M. and Snapchat: Now that's a crock of... Dehydrated Cow Manure!

From Candy: A poop emoji Beanie Baby toy with an Elvis pompadour?!

My most-liked Youtube comment has 195 thumbs-up? It was about my then-upcoming eye cataract surgery on January 10. Awesome! Matthew Santoro's The Most CHILLING Confessions on Record, uploaded on January 9, 2019.

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Turns out the Highway restrooms were NOT a ramen shop! / SETP. 11?! WHAT?!

2019-01-24T06:22:03Z

I went out to London Drugs at 12:15 on a 414 (just missing the 401) to get Gillett bar mop towels x4 (I haven't bought them since January 2017?!), on-sale $2 Arm and Hammer All-in-One Complete Care Whitening Gel Toothpaste baking soda toothpaste with gel, on-sale Seventh Generation dish detergent (Free and Clear / Lemon), and on-sale Palmolive dish detergent (Green Apple and White Lily!) - I got home at 1:05 on a 401. The Canucks played the Hurricanes at 7:30 tonight, and lost 5-2.... UGH! I also showered tonight.

Final score for "That was definitely not a joke" Reddit comment: 2036 points!

Arm and Hammer All-in-One Complete Care Whitening Gel Toothpaste in Fresh Mint flavor!

( More toothpaste and dish detergent here! )

Lucas, Kumatora, Duster, and Boney make it to the Highway rest area in Chapter 7 of MOTHER 3. They stop by the restrooms. This guy tells them, "Well, it turned out this wasn't a ramen shop."

Lucas, Kumatora, Duster, and Boney make it to the Highway rest area in Chapter 7 of MOTHER 3. They stop by the restrooms. This guy tells them, "I even stood in line all that time without going to the bathroom..."

Lucas, Kumatora, Duster, and Boney make it to the Highway rest area in Chapter 7 of MOTHER 3. They stop by the restrooms. This guy tells them, "That's what I mutter to myself as I now stare blankly at this door."

From Julie: UNDERCOVER BOSS did an episode at the company Oriental Trading, and Sunday School starts on SETP. 11?! What?! CHECK YOUR SPELLING! BAD SPELLING!

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I wanted a pony, not a baby! / Vaginas are NOT cuckoos! USE COOCH!

2018-12-24T05:49:31Z

Little kid: "But I told Santa I wanted a PONY!" Instead, she gets a baby!

From Reddit on Oct. 23, 2018: No, EricaT713, we do NOT call our vagina a "cuckoo"! I can understand euphemisms and have used them myself, but CUCKOO?! Even "cooch" would be more understandable, although I don't use that one!

From Reddit on April 12, 2018: No, EricaT713, VAGINAS ARE NOT CUCKOOS!

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Avoiding baby showers, weddings, and bridal showers because of gender concerns?!

2018-12-11T04:27:52Z

From Reddit on October 11, 2018: If you just don't like baby showers, bridal showers, and weddings... SAY SO, RobotRosa! "Highly gendered stuff," my ass!

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No eyeball ultrasound or whatever! / Uterus-haver?! WHAT THE FUCK?!

2018-09-21T17:44:54Z

Jeremy emailed me to say that he could make it to Felico's - YAY! Barry called me at 8:35 AM to confirm the time that he'd be picking me up, and 10:15 sounded fine to me. Then Dr. Wise's office called me at 9:05 AM to say that they had "a situation" come up and they'd have to reschedule either today or Monday at the latest. Ugh, fine - make me drink coffee for no reason! :P

The office called me again at 9:45 AM (that was fast!) to reschedule, so I brought up my ride situation, but October 19 at 11 AM should tentatively work. I then called Barry to see if it would since he's going to Japan; since he didn't have his appointment book with him at that moment, he called me back at 10:05 to say that yes, it would. Then I called the doctor's office back to confirm things. Phew, now I can hopefully relax and take Neo-Citran when I feel less awake from the coffee!

Edit at 12: I told Jimmy about finding out that "the situation" was a carjacking downtown, and he tried making me laugh by saying "Car-jacking off." NOT FUNNY IN THIS CONTEXT, BABE! Totally inappropriate, like his Goodwill thrift store "gaylord" slang for a full forklift of donations!

No, FrontLawnFire, we do not use "uterus-haver"! Are you a special snowflake?!

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Boob-having persons?! / Vagina-haver?! / Sex-havers?! / Pets preferred pronouns

2018-05-16T20:20:50Z

The computer just blue-screened! Couldn't it have done that while I was sleeping?!

From Reddit on November 10, 2017: "Boob-having persons," XxXFaZEqUIckwopesXxX?! Just say "men" or "women"!

From Reddit on November 10, 2017: "As a vagina-haver"?! No, WeaverofStories, just no! Say you're a woman or that you have a vagina. Much less awkward! You're already saying the word "vagina," anyway...

From Reddit on July 26, 2017: Sex-havers?! BABYPUBESS, no! Just say, "people who have had sex." That's more normal, if slightly wordy.

From a Not Always Working story called TRANSPETTING: Reminder to call your pets by their proper pronouns! Use petself / dogself / catself / hamsterself, etc. because they are not able to communicate their preferred gender and pronouns. Thank you. This has been a PSA.

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Extreme friendship dealbreakers, female-coded swimsuits, fake-quitting smoking

2018-02-25T22:29:28Z

The computer just restarted!

From Reddit on July 28, 2017: No, Bmoreisapunkrocktown, we do not have such extreme friendship dealbreakers around kids, significant others, transphobia, extroversion, clingy communication, etc. ALL WRAPPED UP INTO ONE! You're the bad apple who makes childfree people, black people, AND introverts look bad! She even went all "special snowflake" on me and called it "respectability politics." What the heck?! Not EVERYTHING is political... and I thought I was bitter!

From Reddit on August 4, 2017: Nobody except YOU refers to swimsuits or swim tops as female-coded, Worried19... maybe you should stop that. I just downvoted her and moved on.

From Reddit on August 12, 2017: No, Matyas_, you did NOT quit smoking recently if you still smoke when you go out and drink. You should look up the meaning of the word "quit" in the dictionary!

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Keanu Reeves! Keanu Comes Back! / Bill Boner?! / Christmas Joye Abbott?!

2018-01-26T01:06:33Z

Cuya says that his salmon jerky and Vancouver postcards arrived today. "Holy fuck, yes! Salmon jerky! Thank you! I'll try some on stream soon, and I love the postcards! I will put the salmon eating on Youtube! Amazing mail day!"

Eating Salmon Jerky

Cuya's black pepper salmon jerky!

From Julie: Keanu Reeves! Keanu Comes Back!

From OLD FAITHFUL Bathroom Reader #30: Bill Boner was a property assessor?!

From Reddit and r/namenerds: Christmas Joye Abbott?!

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STEM fighting the patriarchy?! / Eloise Harbor to honor a drowning victim?!

2018-01-24T23:23:49Z

I decided to do some laundry and shower today, and pay my Shaw bill online.

From Reddit on July 28, 2017: No, TrInAvFe, someone should not go into a STEM career solely to "fight the patriarchy," regardless of desire and actual facility at such a job path.

From Reddit on August 3, 2016: No, SomeoneSassy, Harbor is NOT a good middle name for your daughter, even if it will help you remember that you met your husband there. It's a surname, if anything, and it's especially bad if the first name is that of your sister, who DROWNED! Your in-laws are right.

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Whoopee cushion filled with gravy, Waldrop sextuplets and twins, feeling used

2018-01-15T22:31:28Z

From Gotta Lil Captain In Ya? and Pete: A Whoopee cushion filled with gravy adds a hilarious new dimension to a rather tiresome practical joke.

From Reddit and r/namenerds on December 14, 2017: The Waldrop sextuplets and twins from Alabama, plus an older brother! Saylor Briggs, Bridge Ryder, and Wales Tucker are the older siblings. The sextuplets (3 boys and 3 girls) are Layke Bryars, Blu Wellington, Tag Bricker, Rivers McCall, Rayne McCoy, and Rawlings McClaine. MULTIPLE MULTIPLES!

My newest highest-voted Not Always Right comment on a story entitled FEELING USED: "Jesus Christ. Your manager is a whole bunch of banned words." If you have a problem with my taking the Lord's name in vain, SHUT IT. I'm not dealing with the ridiculous Disqus swear filter that Not Always Right admins keep changing so that even circumventing workarounds might not go through. All those comments are permanently in moderation. "Jesus Christ" gets through, is convenient to use when I'm in a (relative) hurry, and hasn't been banned.... yet.

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